Facts about Success Programs for Kids (Part 1)

What is the importance of an early childhood success program? What is a good success program for kids? When should my child start a success program? Can’t I just wait and let my child make up his or her mind?

These are questions we answer every day, at our wellness center in North Providence, RI. In relation to early childhood development, we have Yoga and martial arts programs for structure, focusing, goal setting, and many more life skills. As you can imagine, there are a variety of options. Let’s address each one, and you can design a plan that fits your family’s needs.

What is the importance of an early childhood success program?

There is no shortage of stimuli for young children, but the true value of what takes up most of their time is debatable, at best. You want to instill ambition, success, and valuable life skills, as early as possible. Therefore, the Xbox, Sony Play Station, and the television, have little value unless they are strictly regulated. In some cases, these forms of entertainment are robbing children of their childhood.

Television can be a very valuable learning tool, with the many educational programs to choose from. However, much like Internet access, television program selection, for children, has to be supervised. There are also many junk programs that teach our children disrespect, poor social skills, vulgar language, and unacceptable behavior. During the early formative years, children need to avoid learning any of this, and build a solid foundation.

Back

to success programs: Not all programs are created equally, and some are better for older children. For example: Some children in the three to five years of age bracket will be overwhelmed by learning complicated physical and mental skills.

The object is to find a compassionate, understanding, competent, and qualified instructor for your child. This is someone who designed the program you choose into a fun activity. Overly competitive coaches, teachers, and programs often cause burnout with most kids. The very competitive child may thrive in this atmosphere, as long as his or her physical or mental health is not put at risk.

Therefore, look for an activity or program where your child will flourish and develop a string of successful achievements. This will enhance ambition and instill self-confidence. Ultimately, your child will be prepared for the world and will be armed with a valuable skill set for life.

Paul Jerard is a co-owner and the director of Yoga teacher training at: Aura Wellness Center, in North Providence, RI. He has been a certified Master Yoga teacher since 1995. He is a master instructor of martial arts, with multiple Black Belts, four martial arts teaching credentials, and was recently inducted into the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame. He teaches Yoga, martial arts, and fitness to children, adults, and seniors in the greater Providence area. Recently he wrote: Is Running a Yoga Business Right for You? For Yoga students, who may be considering a new career as a Yoga teacher. http://www.yoga-teacher-training.org/index.html

GA Fitness Tips – diet plan, exercises, weight loss and gain muscles latest information.

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. One of best teaching that I have learned from the industry and found in all top sales professionals and successful individuals is:

“All super successful individuals love people more than they love money.”

And it is their love for people that make them wealthy and rich.

I share this same teaching with my children since young. I truly believe that it will be the most important factors to help them become more successful in life.

Love refers to individual and personal caring that goes both beneath and beyond loyalty and respect. It includes the love for friends, neighbors and even adversaries. And most important of all, the lifelong commitment of love for the family.

We learn to love others by serving them and the love is unconditional. We may not always love those who serve us. Their love depending on how it is given, may spoilt us or intimidate us.

However unconditional, understanding and fully accepting love warms us without reservation and brings about our reciprocal love. We may not love those who serve us, but we definitely love those whom we serve.

I’d like to share the following tips where parents can give unconditional love to their children and giving them the opportunities to serve. They are also the things that I live by:

Clearly Separate Dissatisfaction With Behavior From Love of Child

Parents must always expect their children to make mistakes and occasionally demonstrate unacceptable behaviors despite many previous reminders.

When your child misbehave, it is your responsibility as parent to correct him. However at every instance of discipline, you need to reiterate that it is what the child did that you do not like and that your love for him cannot be altered by anything. Mentioned frequently to your children of all ages and back it up with a hug and physical affection.

Here is an example of what I did with my four-old-year daughter three weeks ago when she misbehaved in class by playing during lesson and not giving attention to what her teacher was teaching.

I reprimanded her. I said, “Ethel, I am really upset when you played with your friends in class while all of you are supposed to listen to what your teacher had to say. You are there in class to learn. Do you understand me?”

Her tears started to roll after a long pause. And I sternly continued “Dear, will you promise papa that you will pay attention in class and if your friends misbehave during lesson, you will be the leader by telling them to give respect and attention to your teacher while he is teaching?”

She nodded and more tears started to roll out from her eyes. After another long pause, she asked “Papa, will you still love me?”

I follow up by saying “Dear, papa is angry because of what you did. However I will always love you and as much as ever.

Just promise me that you will be a good student in class and show respect to your teacher. Will you do that?”

She nodded and stood quietly, waiting for me to say more. Instead of continuing to reprimand her, I close the episode by saying “Come, let papa give you a hug.”

She threw herself over me while tears continue to roll. From her eyes, I can tell that she knew that she was in the wrong and at the same, she felt a sense a security that her papa will always be there to love her, no matter what happen.

This event happened about three weeks ago from the time I am writing this. Since then, I have not hear any complain from the teacher. I hope our little girl will continue to be a good and attentive student in class.

Develop A Service Orientation

You and your children can learn collectively to love through serving. Serve in some kind of community projects where your family can help others who are in need. Look for charitable services that you can rendered as a family and that can involve your children. By serving others, you children will learn and appreciate the true meaning of love.

Taking Care of Younger Siblings

If you have children of 4-years-old and above, you can teach them love by giving them the privilege of helping and serving their younger siblings.

Call your older child a tutor and tell him that the younger child is a student. Tell the older one that he will have the opportunity of helping the little one in many ways. He can sit next to the child at meal time, helping him to cut the vegetable or meat into smaller piece and taking milk for him. He can also holds the hand of the younger one while traveling on the road. He can read bed time stories to the younger one or simply helping you to watch out for his siblings while you are having a quick shower.

Your older child will not only learn to love whom he serves but will have an added appreciation for you as his parent as he helps with things you usually do.

Show Physical Love

Parents should show their love openly and teach their children that overt affection and love is perfectly okay. Give hugs and kisses. Schooling children need to feel their parents’ physical love just as much as when they are pre-schoolers. Give hugs to your children when they leave home for school, back home from outside, pop into bed etc – a sincere and fuzzy hug is appreciate by everyone. Be sure to tell your children verbally that you love them as well as providing your hugs.

Article by Alvin Poh, founder of Learning Champ, a parenting wesbite that provides information and resources to parents, who want to help their children develop the important skills and mind set for a brighter future -> http://www.alvinkh.per.sg/learningchamp

Tiny Love Toys

Cartier Love Ring

Common Problems in Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful relation that is celebrated by all once in a lifetime. It is that relation which is delicate as petals of roses and strong as rough wind. But with little understanding and patience we can make this relation an eternal bliss. People with their immature attitude turned it into hostile relation; fail to keep the spark of married life alive.

Life is not bed of roses always. Ups and downs are bound to come in life. But that does not mean that we should turn our backs. And in marriage it is very common, it is two individuals having different personalities meet and then clashes take place. When a person gets married, there are lots of responsibilities that one has to face. Sometimes the person is not able to keep up the expectations of his/her partner. But then that does not mean he/she doesn’t love his/her partner.

Some of the problems that are generally faced by people during their marriage are:

Financial problem – Couples often have clashes on money matters. One person might always be in the vague of saving money, while the spouse might be spendthrift. Thus, expenses are always an issue.

Sexual Problem – When the sex life of couple diminishes dramatically, then there arises a need to sit down and do a meaningful conversation. In fact, reduced sexual desire is a sign

indicative of serious marital problem.

In Laws Problem – Married ladies are more often coming up with the problem of In-laws. This can be somewhat attributed to generation gap also. In-laws compare their times with that of their child’s and this causes frustration.

Communication Problem in Marriage – Lack of proper communication gives rise to misunderstandings, thereby causing clashes and tension.

Loss of intimacy is one of those common marriage problems that eat away foundation of a marriage turning what was once a loving and fulfilling relationship into nothing more than a shell. When there is loss of closeness in a relation there is no light. It is only through people communication that people can establish healthy relation. All problems that results in breaking relation can be solved when couple talk to each other in open manner. When they does not hide anything from each other.

We all face problems at work, with the children and with the family but work problems we handle, children issues we sort out and look how far we have to be pushed before we even consider disowning our family. Why is it then so common for marriages to split up over a few solvable problems?

The Marriage Boot Camp is an intense marriage seminar that is the perfect place to solve serious marriage and relationship problems. For More Information please visit: http://www.marriagebootcamp.com/

The First Six Months- An Adoptive Parent Primer

What you really need to know:

The same baby who sleeps peacefully slumped over a rock in 96-degree sunshine during a Blue Angels Air Show will awaken from a deep slumber in the middle of the night if you drop the cap to your toothpaste.

Begin now to live every day as if you will be snowed-in for a month starting tomorrow.

You can not imagine the things you will extract, touch, sniff, sample, examine and discuss. You will do so without hesitation, and you will even save some of them. (I didn’t believe it either.)

Pray for the generosity of friends who cook.

Ultimately, everything is washable. (I just took a shower with an exersaucer.)

Babies produce an astounding amount of earwax. Most of it Cheeto-colored.

Take time now to locate as many drive-through establishments as you can. I mean way beyond just a bank and fast food. Pharmacy, drycleaner, grocery store, gas station, car wash, post office, bakery, photo lab, oil change, coffee shop, church, AAA, video rental, library, cell phone repair… you will need every opportunity to conduct your life without getting out of the car. If you can find a drive-through pediatrician I suggest you get on the

waiting list now. I’m sure he or she has a full patient load.

Some days it’s a marathon,

some days it’s a sprint,

most days it’s a marathon sprint.

Trust your instincts.

Keep a journal. Those first special moments, the ones you’re sure you’ll remember for the rest of your life, will be crowded out by the next special moments, which will eventually give way to others, and so on… write it on a napkin, a diaper box, the mirror, a changing pad, anywhere. Just write it. Please.

If you grow impatient waiting for a child to adopt, remember that God is finding exactly the right baby for you. When you bring your child home, you will be grateful that He took His time.

No matter what you do, time will pass too quickly.

You will be your baby’s first true love.

Sally Bacchetta – Freelance Writer/Sales Trainer

Sally Bacchetta is a mother and award-winning freelance writer. She has published articles on a variety of topics, including parenting, RFID, selling skills, motivation, and pharmaceutical sales.

You can contact her at sb14580@yahoo.com and read her latest reflections on motherhood on her New Mommy Sally Blog.

Being A First Time Parent

When we were little we all dreamed of getting married, having a nice home, and having children. We all thought it would be that easy. Then we all grew up and real life sets in. We do get married that was pretty easy. Getting your nice house that was a little harder. Then you have a child. All of a sudden you are scared to death. You feel so lost not knowing what to do. All your thoughts from when you were younger start creeping in your mind and you start realizing that it is nothing like you were thinking. Everyone experiences different feelings. I think that this is how the majority of us feel.

When we bring that little bundle, that we helped create, home from the hospital it is the scariest feeling in the world. Most feel that they will mess up some how. The doctors and nurses are no longer there to help us and we are not in the hospital long enough to learn everything that we need to know. It can get a bit over whelming. When the baby cries we are not sure what to do. Feed them, change them, hold them, and when those don’t work we don’t know what else to do. I

promise it does get easier. With each passing day it does get easier. You will learn your child’s cries. Their hungry cry will differ from their, I need changed cry. When you get to a place where you are not sure what to do with your baby, ask an experienced parent. If you feel comfortable with their advice do it. If you don’t then you will know it. Every mother has a natural instinct, and it will kick in with out you even noticing it. Taking care of your baby will get easier and easier as each day goes by. It still can be over whelming, but you will learn from each experience. It will make you and your child closer.

Just remember to do the best you can and remember that this little life is depending on you for everything that he/she needs to survive. Without you he/she could not make it. Sit back and enjoy every moment you have with your child before you know it they will be all grown up and gone having their own families. You can only experience life raising a child once with each child. Don’t miss out on anything.

Shannon Miller owner of http://www.asthmainfosite.com, http://www.righthandvirutalassisatnt.com, and http://www.parentingfroma-z.blogspot.com

Top 5 Strategies – How to Communicate With Your Children’s Other Parent

I heard a journalist say recently that “there’s a vicious and respect less way of communicating that’s reserved exclusively for the ‘divorced with children’”. Ouch, that hurt! Probably because it’s so true. It doesn’t have to be like that and for the sake of building a bridge with our children’s other parent here are some ground-rules for practicing how to play fare. (For the sake of ease here, I’m going to assume that we’re talking about divorce or separation and that the children have residence with their mum; their dad having moved to a separate home).

1. Focus on the Present and the Future

Conversations between separated Mums and Dads about the past often get heated, stressed and even dangerous. Ideally, you want to get to a point where your communication is calm and actively contributes to a positive future. If you have unresolved issues relating to your past relationship, you must find a way to process these independently to your conversations with your ex. Find a good counselor, a qualified friend or family member (i.e. they know how to keep you moving forward and are not going to spend time just agreeing with you), or an anger-management therapist – whoever it is, work through your feelings about your ex-partner in a constructive and forward-focused way in your own time.

2. Focus on the Children’s Wellbeing

Remember that regardless of what you think about your child’s other parent, your child loves you both and is not a pawn. Try to encourage a good relationship with their dad after he’s moved away and build up the time your children spend with him to a level where everyone’s happy. Initially it may be that the children just want to be in familiar surroundings for the majority of the time. Encourage and equip them to talk about how they

feel and be aware not to manipulate or colour their thinking. Asking what they want is a good start, however sometimes they will have to be stretched out of their comfort zone (like they may just have to go and spend the weekend at Dad’s flat) for the long-term benefit of all their relationships.

3. Give Yourself a Time Limit for Conversations

If you find that your tolerance level for being civil to your ex-partner is limited, then make sure you only talk in short blocks of time. Practice, ‘doing diaries’ in under 10 minutes. If you feel yourself start to get anxious, then suggest that ‘we look at this again next week’.

4. Get Comfortable With Not Concluding

Not all conversations about our children have to be concluded right now. Try to plan ahead when negotiating access, holidays, saving for gifts, having your children be at their friend’s parties, etc. Mention ahead of time that you’d like to take the children to Cornwall, or you want to have them visit their Granny on her birthday. This will allow time for both parties to consider the benefits for the children and to consider what a compromise or re-negotiation might look like.

5. Be Respectful

Challenging though it might be, talking to your ex with respect is the best way to begin to change things for the better. I know how hard this can be – especially in the early days; but it will get easier with practice and persistence. You owe it to yourself and to your children and ultimately it will reduce anxiety and increase happiness all round.

Jennifer Broadley is a qualified executive coach and the founder of www.SuccessfulSingleParenting.com

For more information and a FR*EE Special Report “ The 5 Secrets for Successful Single Parenting” visit: www.SuccessfulSingleParenting.com

Ordered Home, Ordered Mind – 3 Simple Rules to Successful Home Balance

Ordered Home, Ordered Mind – 3 Simple Rules to Successful Home Balance

Before I had children, if someone had talked to me about ‘systems’ and ‘right ways’ to do things in my house, I’d have laughed my little cotton socks off. In my home, I’d lived on my own for over a decade and things got done how I liked, when I liked; I never questioned my ‘living environment’ and I was happy that way.

Now though, I find that to single parent sucessfully, manage 2 companies, plan a social life (trust me it’s not hugely extensive, but, yippee!, it does exist!), progress a relationship with my partner, see family regularly and take time out for holidays, all of this takes a lot of forethought and planning for each segment to run smoothly and serve me and my daughter well. The foundations of all of this are that my home is ordered and time spent doing daily tasks is contained. Here are a few tips that work for me and, if you don’t already have some of these in place in your own home, I hope they’ll make a difference for you too.

1. Share the workload: Chores done well at home benefit everyone living there. If our children are old enough to communicate they can contribute to the smooth running of the household. The earliest chores may simply be putting pyjamas under the pillow at the beginning of the day and folding clothes neatly at the end of the day – most 5-year olds can do that. More advanced chores like dusting, washing up, cooking and shopping can be shared out gradually as the children grow older. And it’s smart to encourage a gracious attitude while doing their household tasks. These are good lessons for our children as they begin to understand about responsibility and grow steadily into confident adults.

2. Be

systematic: Practice good systems and, when they work, repeat them until they become clockwork. For example, we only leave the bathroom after my daughter’s nightly bathtime when the bath-plug’s out, toys are put away, shampoo bottles and soap are in their place, bath mat is drying over the bath and the light’s off. Or – meal times – we don’t leave the kitchen until we have cleared the table, put away the condiments (salt, pepper, ketchup, mayo!), done the dishes, cleaned the surfaces, wiped the table and pushed all the chairs in. It sounds lengthy but in reality this process takes less than 5 minutes. Each room then is ordered as the day goes on and that way none of us have to grow frustrated around chaos and mess. Room tidy – next adventure!

3. Be Consistent: It’s tempting to give our children an easy life, especially when we feel guilt around the necessary transition they may have made from their nuclear family to an extended one. However, consistency and boundaries, delivered lovingly, are the anchors for our children to hold onto in a time of change; and they’re the framework to defining what normality in a new environment is all about. So if your children where only allowed sweets at weekends in their last home, keep that rule. Keep the time and the format of mealtimes, playtimes, bath times and bedtimes as consistent as possible. Gradually the unfamiliar bits in between will become more practiced, defined and normal giving ourselves and our children the headspace and incentive to be the happy and creative people we were born to be.

I’m Jennifer Broadley and I’m here to bring you dynamic information and support on how to be a winning single parentwith strong, respectful relationships with your children and a comfortable, working relationship with your ex-partner.

For more information and to receive a FR*EE Special Report visit: www.SuccessfulSingleParenting.com

My Two Year Old Got Hooked On Phonics

When my son was in nursery school he raised his hand to get his teacher’s attention.

“Yes, Daniel?”

Daniel pointed to the word “Conneticut” written on the blackboard and said, “You spelled Connecticut wrong.” She looked at the board and realized he was right.

“Daniel, how did you know it was wrong?” asked the perplexed teacher.

“It’s because I have a young and powerful brain!” Daniel triumphantly replied.

His teacher contacted me by phone shortly thereafter, told me what Daniel had said, and asked me how he could possibly know about the misspelled word.”

I told her that when he was almost two years old, I started to teach him how to read.

She was full of more questions. “Why did you bother to teach him to read? Surely he would have learned how to read in school at the developmentally appropriate age.”

I had no idea what she meant by a developmentally appropriate age. All I knew is that Daniel turned into a superb reader so he must have been ready to read. “Maybe yes, maybe no,” I replied. As I see things, reading is too crucial for his success in school and in life to leave to chance. That’s why I did the job myself. His education, I hope you understand, is ultimately my responsibility. Don’t you agree?” All I heard in reply to my question was a muffled grunt.

She continued with a noticeable edge to her voice. “Who taught you how to do it? You must be a teacher.”

“Nah…I am a CPA and no one taught me …all I did was teach him the alphabet, the sounds the letters make, and oh yes, I made sure he had tons and tons of practice. It was all really very simple. Honest, his brain did most of the work.”

By the shrillness of her response, I was sure she was about to deliver a cow. “YOU REALLY TAUGHT HIM PHONICS WHEN HE WAS TWO YEARS OLD?!” She said the word phonics like it was three day old road kill. This was my first indication that there was a problem somewhere with our schools and phonics. It would not be until many years later that I’d learn about the bizarre things going on in reading instruction at our schools.

* * *

I remember the evening I made that fateful decision as though it were yesterday. “I’m going to teach Daniel how to read to me!” I hollered to my wife who was watching television in the next room. Daniel was standing on his bed, and probably wondered what his silly Daddy was yelling about. He didn’t know then, nor did I, how much those few words would eventually change our lives. Suddenly Daniel’s bed became a classroom and I became his first teacher. From that day on, things in our family would never be quite the same.

My lack of teaching experience never bothered me a whit. I never created lesson plans and took every lesson one day at a time. I simply relied on old-fashioned common sense and trial and error to chart my course. This was nightime learning fun between my son and me. As it turned out, my total ignorance of current early teaching methodology was of crucial importance to my later success. For example, my ignorance kept me away from developmentalism. This idiotic philosophy says that it’s wrong to teach preschoolers how to read because in some way, it would damage them. Had I known about this, I never would have taught my son how to read and I would have missed what was the most joyful experience of my life.

The lessons began . . .

To start, I began to teach Daniel the basic building blocks of reading — the letters of the alphabet and their sounds (phonics). That turned out to be the wisest possible beginning. A friend gave me Richard Scarry’s Best Word Book Ever which has the alphabet on the first two pages. In the most entertaining ways possible, I taught Daniel the alphabet, both lower and upper case. We practiced and reviewed the letters on those first two pages for several months, literally branding the alphabet and their sounds into Daniel’s long-term unforgettable memory. Another great aid in teaching him the alphabet was the alphabet song. I must have sung it with him a million times and he enjoyed it every time. Unlike adults, little kids love repetition.That’s how they learn best.

And so it went. Every day I added a few new letters and constantly reviewed letters previously learned. I somehow knew that he had to learn the alphabet and their sounds as well as he knew his own name and constant practice and review (drill and practice) was the best way to do it. If there was any one key to my success, it was certainly constant long term repetitive practice. When I learned that educators speak of drill and practice in disparaging terms, I began to understand why we have a reading problem. How could anyone be against long term practice?

I learned quickly that I must not bore him, so I played lots of fun learning games. I laughed and smiled a lot, celebrated Daniel’s triumphs and showed genuine enthusiasm for his progress. In other words, I joined Daniel in his world. It would have been ludicrous for me to expect Daniel to come into my boring and stuffy adult world. To make things even more interesting, I rarely dwelled on any subject too long. I might start a lesson with a five-minute conversation about the “B” sound and then ask Daniel if water is a liquid, gas or solid. After that, I might ask him to show me four fingers on his left hand or even what the ancient Greek Democritis is noted for (he coined the word “atom.”

As the weeks of nightly instruction continued, I discovered, much to my delight, that this teaching business was not a chore. Instead, I found myself eagerly looking forward to the lessons. I was enjoying myself enormously and I was fascinated by the speed of Daniel’s progress. I hadn’t yet grasped how amazingly fast little kids learn. Of particular enjoyment were our Socratic like learning conversations. “Daniel, do you know that everything in the world is made of little bitty things called atoms?” The subjects of these conversations varied. Since my two year old had the whole world to learn about, almost anything that popped into my head was of value. Needless to say, he reveled in all the one on one attention I lavished on him.

One of my neighbors who is a teacher warned me not to pressure him too much to learn or he might burn out. I told her that she had the culprits mixed up. I told her, “Once Daniel got a taste of the fun lessons, he pressured me for more and more learning time. He became utterly relentless!” What started out as fifteen minute lessons soon became forty minutes or more.

Then came the little words . . .the most commonly used two and three letter words. We practiced them until he knew them instantly by sight. Count among them: the, I, a, you, is, to, me, he, it, was, can, if, in, are, on, of, and maybe fifty more.

Amazingly, after about

four or five months, when the alphabet with their related sounds and the little words were firmly in his long term unforgettable memory, my son, not yet two and a half years old, started to read – really read, not just parrot words he’d memorized. He was able to decode long words simply by sounding out the letters. Was I proud!

Daniel considered reading just another game played with his Daddy. He thought it a challenge when I said those oft-spoken words, “sound it out.” As a result, after learning phonics, he’d try to read anything. Since no one told him that words like plethora, obtuse, lethargic, and bellicose, and erudite were big words – college level words – he’d tackle them too by sounding them out. Daniel read every word in the Best Word Book Ever at least a hundred times. “How about the Take Turns Game, Daniel?” I would turn to any page in the book and Daniel would start reading. He read three words and then I did the same. Or, Daniel would read a full sentence and I would read the next one. Taking turns reading aloud made Daniel want to read – he just had to keep up with his Daddy. Little kids, I soon learned, are intensely competitive and adore winning.

I did not limit his reading material to his kid’s books. We also read the newspaper, street signs, license plates, recipes – anything in print. Daniel wasn’t fussy. Being a CPA, I was especially proud after he read the first page of a 1040 tax return. “Hey Daddy, what does adjusted gross income mean?”

Daniel made lots of mistakes and so, to protect his ego, I invented the mistake game. This game enabled him to catch me making a mistake. I reasoned that if Daniel saw that his Daddy could make a mistake and not have a snit, he’d learn to accept them. It worked.

Daniel Let’s play the mistake game.

Me Okay, you go first.

Daniel What sound does CH make?

Me Shhhh

Daniel You made a mistake Daddy. Try again.

Me Are you sure I made a mistake Daniel?

Daniel Yes Daddy. A CH makes the CHA sound.

Me You’re right! Gosh, are you smart!

One of our favorites was the “DO IT” game. In order for him to understand that there is a reason for reading, a message to be understood in everything written. I would print a message on a piece of paper such as “close your eyes and jump up and down.” If Daniel read the instruction and started jumping up and down, I knew he was reading for comprehension – the only reason for reading. He never lost that game.

. Some spelling instruction systems say that it is all right for a child to invent his or her own spelling, that sooner or later kids will learn the correct spelling. I didn’t buy that invented spelling nonsense. I thought it better for him to learn how to spell correctly the first time around than to unlearn the incorrect spelling later.

* * *

Final results? After investing about 30-40 minutes a night for about two years, the results were quite gratifying. Daniel entered kindergarten reading and spelling at the fourth or fifth grade level. But even more than that, when he was four I had him tested by an educational psychologist who told me Daniel had a genius level IQ of 148.

Some people tell me that Daniel could read because he was born super-gifted, unusually bright, a genius. I’d sure like to think that is true, that he inherited my brainy genes, but I know better. Daniel wasn’t born a genius with anything that millions of other children across the world do not possess. What I did, however, was to make him use it. I did not teach my son how to read to make him smart. At the time, I had no clue about the interesting byproduct of early readng. Learning how to read exercised his brain which acted like a brain growth catalyst.and made him very smart. The realization of what my teaching had done to my son’s intellect fascinated me to no end. I had literally created high intelligence! This was sure a lot more interesting than mindlessly filling out tax returns. Why didn’t I go into education instead of accounting?

* * *

Soon enough, I became an educational gadfly. I began to put on seminars at continuing adult education centers and even went on radio talk shows to spread the message that we can make our children very bright and there was no longer any excuse for school or reading failure. Parents can prevent that . . . that we parents must get involved in the educational process . . . that we are or should become our children’s first teachers.

Not everyone, I learned to my surprise, was enthralled with the promise of much higher intelligence for their children. I was suddenly at odds with most of the educational establishment who wanted nothing to do with early reading instruction. At first I naively thought educators would embrace my ideas. Was I wrong about that! Because they thought of me as a home schooler in disguise, the educators despised everything I stood for.

Educators spend much of their time dissuading parents from early reading instruction. They use words like hot housing, developmentally inappropriate, elitism, parental pressure, let kids be kids, and other such self serving nonsense. For the longest time I could not understand why these educators are so steadfastly against early reading. What can be more harmless than parents teaching reading to their tots and toddlers? Even more than that, they seem to downgrade or ignore the vast importance of high intelligence, as if intelligence does not really matter. They call themselves developmentalists. Watch out for and avoid them like the plague.

The following is an exercise that will tell you why one reason why educators despise very early academics. Think of twenty poor inner city black kids who were all taught to read as I taught my son. Picture them all entering the same kindergarten class. See them all carrying the newspaper or their favorite computer manual. See the teacher who is all prepared to teach these kids the alphabet with wooden blocks. All the kids are already reading at the fourth grade level. Seeing the disaster before her eyes, what is the teacher to do? Whatever she does, she knows she must throw out the blocks as well as her old timetables. A whole new world was before her eyes.

So what would finally happen? After innumerable meeting and conferences, her peers and the powers that be in education would have no choice but vastly smarten up the curricula and adjust to the children’s amazingly high intellects. The kids nor their parents would accept anything less. This is how our tots and toddlers will eventually change our educational system.

Finally, let me end this on a positive note. My thoughts are not focused on my son’s accomplishments. Instead I think about the joyous learning times he and I spent together. Sadly I think about the fact that such times can never be repeated. Frankly, I envy those parents who have read this article and decide to live that teaching adventure. They will never regret it.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: What is Impulsivity?

Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This impulsivity is the result of the brain’s decreased ability to inhibit. There is a lack of self-control even at the neurological level. Impulsivity is found in two areas. There is behavioral impulsivity, and there is cognitive impulsivity.

Behavioral impulsivity would involve actions, what one does. ADHD er’s with behavioral impulsivity don’t stop and think first before they act. No matter how many times you tell this kid, “stop and think first,” the next time the situation comes up, he may well do the same impulsive thing again.

Kids with ADHD often aren’t learning from their past mistakes. Their learning threshold is very high, and if you don’t excite them, or motivate them enough to get them above that learning threshold, they don’t learn, and they make the same the same mistake again and again.

ADHD er’s with behavioral impulsivity act without thinking first, cut in line, can’t wait their turn in line or in a game, blurt out answers in class, speak when they’re supposed to be quiet, maybe show aggressive behaviors, are often a little too loud, and sometimes fights. They often have poor social skills, which of course is the death socially for teenagers with ADHD. They impulsively say the wrong thing at the wrong time. They can get one date, but they can’t get the second date because they might impulsively blurt out something goofy, and then say, “Why did I say that?” Other teens are asking, “Who is this guy?” and often begin to avoid him.

Also, sometimes these kids fail to learn those subtle social cues that everybody else has learned, and so they’re socially awkward and often don’t know why.

Cognitive impulsivity is different. One with cognitive impulsivity is impulsive at the neurological level. This means that they guess a lot. In

fact, guessing is their problem solving method of choice.

Cognitively impulsive ADHD kids will make a multiple number of guesses in a short period of time. On a matching task, or if you give them multiple choices orally, you’ll see them guess for the right answer very quickly, “it’s this one, no, its this one, no, wait, its this one,” until finally you step in and, when he guesses right, you’ll say, “That’s it!”?Of course this just reinforces his guessing.

These cognitively impulsive ADHD kids have very limited problem solving strategies. They don’t stop and look and the problem and then say, “Well, I could do it this way first, then do that, then I’ll be done.” They don’t approach problem solving that way. They usually just guess and let trial and error take its course. Now remember, being fast is not a problem. Some have pointed out that “being fast and accurate is good.” It’s fast and inaccurate that is a problem.

Impulsive kids are often seen interrupting others in conversations, or blurting out answers in class. They often have trouble waiting their turn in games, or have trouble lining up at school. They just don’t wait… or think…before they act. To learn how to help children, teens, and even adults who have problems with impulsivity, visit the ADHD Information Library.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library’s family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

Parenting Your Teenager: Universal Laws for Blending Families

Q: I’ve never written a letter like this before because I’ve never been faced with a situation like this before. I’m getting married soon for the second time and have two kids that I’m bringing to the marriage, plus, my wife to be has two kids as well, and we want to have kids of our own. We’ve read that second marriages have an 80% chance of failure, due in part to trying to bring two different families together. We are both nervous and scared, and want to do this right. Any suggestions would be really, really appreciated.

One of the things that tells me you have a good chance of being a family that beats the odds is that you are thinking about this ahead of time. Most people just sort of stumble into these things, making it up as they go along.

With that in mind, here’s a few suggestions called “the universal laws for blending families.”

¨ The Law of -Ing

The law of -ing refers to a misnomer in the way we talk about this special kind of family. By calling them “blended families” we imply that blending two families together is a one time event, and all the work is done. Nothing could be further from the truth. “Blending families” is a much more accurate term, because it implies that putting two families together is a life long process, with lots of work to do.

¨ The Law of Brady

Let’s get this one out of the way right now. The Brady Bunch was a TV show, complete with scripts so everyone knew what was coming in advance, with as many takes as necessary to get it right. Blending a family together is real world stuff. And it’s all live!

¨ The Law of Pace

Allow your new family to develop and set it’s own pace. Don’t try to force relationships or closeness.

¨ The Law of Instant Love

Related to the law of pace, the law of instant love states that you cannot realistically expect “instant love” to occur between siblings and children and adults. Love and relationships take time.

¨ The Law of Magnification

In many of the

blending families that I have worked with, at first it feels like everyone is walking on egg shells. Walking on egg shells makes it feel like every little issue is a huge deal, on which rides the success or failure of the family. Watching out for this law can help you keep things in perspective.

¨ The Law of Loyalty

I’ve yet to work with a family where this wasn’t eventually a very powerful issue. Just consider the situation above. We’ve got four kids, all in various stages of recovering from the trauma of divorce or perhaps death, coming together in to a new family, and developing new relationships and loyalties. Yet they still have loyalties to the previous families. This is hard enough for adults to figure out, much less children.

It’s like what a 10 year old boy in a family I once worked with said, “How can I love Daddy and Jim (step-father) at the same time?”

¨ The Law of Permission

Here’s one answer to the loyalty dilemma. As much as possible, even though it can be incredibly difficult, it’s crucial that kids have permission from as many of the

adults as possible, to form new and loving ties with members of the new family.

¨ The Law of Step, Part 1

A parent once told me they didn’t like the word step because it implied less of a connection between the family members. As this father put it, “While I am not the biological father of two of our children, I am a father and dad to them. And they may be the biological children of my wife, but they are also my children.”

¨ The Law of Step, Part 2

As another mother of a blending family once told me, “Yeah, we’re a step family – we’re going to be taking lots of steps together.”

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