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Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying to you, even though he or she is normally a “good” child? Sometimes the lies are even about things that don’t really matter or your child continues to lie in the face of overwhelming proof to the contrary?

It is my firm belief that we will not end lying behavior in our children until we take away the consequences for telling the truth. This is a concept explored in greater detail within Nancy Buck’s book, Peaceful Parenting®.

How many times as a child were you told by your parents that you wouldn’t get into “as much” trouble if only you would be honest and tell the truth? I think this must be a rule in Parenting 101 because almost every parent I know has uttered this inalienable truth at least once with their children. Do you remember what you heard when you were told that as a child? I do.

What I actually heard is: if you keep on lying, you are going to really get into trouble. You already lied so you are at pretty high risk of getting into serious trouble. But, if I stick to my story, then there is a possibility there will be no punishment. No one likes to be punished. So it is logical that most children will choose the path that is least likely to result in pain. This, to most children, means the lying route.

I am proposing that if you want to decrease your child’s lying, then you need to say, “As long as you tell me the truth, you will not be punished.” This is a huge shift for many of you and you are probably asking yourself, “But what if my child did something that requires punishment—something seriously against the rules?” I still say remove the consequences for lying and you will more likely get the truth.

Before you come to this decision, though, you must decide whether or not you really want the truth. A few years ago, I was speaking to the mother of one of my sons’ friends. She was very upset that a boy had stayed at her home and slept on top of the same bed with his girlfriend. Now, this mother was aware that both the boy and girl were sleeping at her house but she did not want them to share a bed. The two disregarded her wishes but felt they were complying with the main issue by sleeping on top of the covers, fully clothed. When the mother discovered them early in the morning, still sleeping, she was livid. She called me to vent her frustration. In her ravings, she said, “Well, I know I did the same thing and worse but at least I had the decency to lie to my parents!” I asked her if she really preferred being lied to and she responded affirmatively.

Now, if you are a parent who would really rather not know, then this article is not for

you. I am writing to those parents who want to know the real truth about what is going on with their children and who can handle the truth when presented with it, rather than feeling the urge to punish their child.

My sister-in-law came to me for advice in dealing with her 11 year-old daughter who has developed a lying habit, particularly around her school work. She tried everything. She had mentioned the universal law: “If you tell me the truth, you won’t get into near as much trouble as if you lie to me”. My niece stuck to her story like glue. Then my sister-in-law began to take away extracurricular activities to hopefully impress upon my niece the importance of her school work. All of this was common sense but what do you think happened to the lying? It continued without impact.

When she came to me, I advised her to take away the consequences for telling the truth. She couldn’t believe what I was suggesting she do. Now, I was not saying that she and my niece wouldn’t have a conversation about whatever the problem was. And I wasn’t saying that they wouldn’t make a plan for more effective behavior in the future but there would be no consequence for telling the truth. Even though it’s in the beginning stages, my sister-in-law already reported improvement.

All she has to do now is remind my niece that there will no punishment if she tells the truth, and my niece has been coming clean. The advantage to this is that you, the parent, aren’t spending a lot of time attempting to “get to the bottom of things”! You don’t have to play detective and go on a fact-finding mission. You get the truth up front and then you know what it is that you really need to manage.

The advantage is that you can take a collaborative approach with your child on how to do it better the next time. You can spend your time discussing what got in the way of your child being successful and how can you, together, remove those obstacles. This is so much more relationship strengthening than trying to figure out who’s telling the truth and who isn’t and then doling out the appropriate punishment for the lie. Wouldn’t you rather put an end to lying and get at the real source of the problem?

Try it and see if it helps. But don’t do it if you would prefer not knowing!

For more information on improving the relationship between you and your child, visit www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz and check our calendar for upcoming teleclasses, chats and workshops.

Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor, relationship/life coach and single parent. She found herself widowed when her sons were 13 and 15. It was the application of Dr. Buck’s Peaceful Parenting® that helped her successfully raise her children into the outstanding young men that they are today. If you would like more information about parenting, visit Kim’s website at http://www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz

Mother is most fascinating word on the earth. It is the most known and spoken word. Researchers have the view that the first word be learned is Mother. There is nothing which can be put above her. She is near to God to the new born, as they totally depend on her. She is the example of selfless service on earth. She is doing an extraordinary service to the mankind without demanding anything for it. Every human being is burdened by her sacrifices.

None can take her place in this world. She is always with her child in all difficulties. She tries her best to save us from the difficulties of world. We are the part of her. She has fed us for nine month in her womb. She has given us her blood and shared with us her food. With out her help, we have never come to this world. Therefore she is doing the job same as God.We believe that God gives birth to us, but we have no clear example of it. Where as the

example of Mother giving us birth, are from the time of our existence. Then way she is not above the God. We can remember endless examples of her exceptional work to us. She sacrifices her life for this purpose. In return she does not want anything from us. Her child happiness is everything for her.

I salute all these mothers on earth. They are the example of endless work of humanity. Without her we have never understood, what is love, sacrifice, compromise, and giving happiness to others. What some latest episode are of concern to us. Recently we have learned lot of cases where children have left their mother’s abandoned. This thing can not be done to creature of love. Second some mothers are found to abandon her children at railway station or in temple. That may remain for her the last resort. We should avoid this type of thing. Respect Mother and try to give her, as much happiness as she can. Because we will remember her great works, when she is not with us.

Though you can cover even very long distances by car if you have the guts to, as soon as it comes to crossing water, you’ll have to stick to a plane. The equation is the same as usual: limited space + long time of inactivity = whiny, annoying children.

The big difference towards a car is that when you’re on a plane, you can’t just stop and let your children run around a bit, and you even have to share it with a lot of other people (who probably want to have a rest). So how to keep the little ones calm?

Entertainment electronics cut in again. Modern airlines provide a small tv in the back of the seat even for economy class, or at least one hanging from the ceiling, which might be difficult for your kids to see if they’re not sitting on the corridor side. If you don’t have that kind of luxury, a camcorder with headphones will do the trick. Modern camcorders have a little flatscreen, so you can use it as a mobile tv/vcr combination. For older children, a laptop with a DVD-player can do the job as well. But keep in mind to charge the batteries before!

Airplane food

is generally not very tasty. The free drinks, though, are acceptable, and if you’re in with a baby or toddler, the cabin crew will surely help you warming up some milk. Still, you should bring some snacks in case your kid’s don’t like the food.

Even for adults, the pain in the ear from the pressurizing during liftoff and landing can be quite annoying, so how much more for children. If they’re too young for chewing gum, a drink (best with a straw) also helps.

Be careful with your choice of toys. The playground size is very limited, and things easily get lost under the seat, or worse, under someone else’s seat. You normally have a tray built in there, so you can set it as a limit. The temperature in airplanes tends to be slightly too cold, especially when your flight is ongoing for some time already and you haven’t moved much. So it’s useful to dress your kids in layers, that makes it easier to adjust. For yourself, avoid white clothes and have a spare shirt in your handluggage when you’re dealing with babies.

Brigette Meier is an occassional author for http://www.e-nterests.com – visit the site for more interesting articles.

Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is notso much about food as it is about control. As children becomemore independent, conflicts can arise as they carefullyscrutinize what goes into their mouths. The more you push, themore they resist with the outcome resulting in tears andfrustration.

During one of these scenarios, it is not surprising to see pickyeater dissolve into hysterics when faced with a tiny lima beanor hear unpleasant gagging sounds after your seven-year-oldsniffs the aromatic lemon sauce poured over the baked fish.Then, as the parents become upset, blowing things out ofproportion, generally things become worse.

Instead, you will need to learn on finding a common ground withyour picky eater, one by which you all can live. Try toremember that not all battles are worth fighting. Therefore,you will need to decide which ones are the most important inyour house. Hopefully, food will not be one of them because itcould potentially turn the pleasure of eating into a controlissue that can last a lifetime.

Your primary concerns should be whether your picky eater childis getting the requisite amount of calories he or she needs togrow, and if he or she has a proper balance of nutrients toremain healthy. The answer is most likely “yes.” Even if yourpicky eater child were on a macaroni and cheese kick for thenext two weeks, protein, dairy,

and other vitamins are stillincluded in the diet.

Be realistic in your expectations. Children (not just pickyeater children) up to age ten still use their fingers quite alot in ways that adults don’t, like pushing peas onto a spoonand picking up pieces of meat. They still have some troublechewing and swallowing tough or dry or fibrous foods, like steakor chops. Part of the problem might be that they don’t have thejaw strength to chew up the meat.

Another part is that up until about age eight their swallow isimmature. They swallow with their cheeks, as if they weresuckling from a straw, not using their tongue like you or I do.Children this age still have a limited number of foods theyreadily accept. Do not despair. The number of accepted foodswill gradually increase, as they get older. The numbers willincrease — that is, provided you don’t make a big issue aboutit. Often times making a big deal can cause and decrease infood acceptance rather then an increase.

To learn more about picky eater children and get some quick andeasy picky eater recipes visit http://www.mypickyeater.com

Learn step-by-step how to successfully cope with Picky Eaters with Help There is a Picky Eater in The House! Full of Proven Strategies and Great Picky Eater Recipes that are Guaranteed to Help. Get Effective Picky Eater Help Now!

My daughter said that would rather go to school naked than wear clothes that I picked out for her. I think she was kidding, but I didn’t want to test her. The last time we went shopping for clothes, she made me promise that I would only buy her clothes that she wanted, not clothes that I liked. Of course I told her that I would only spend money on clothes that I thought were appropriate for her to wear to school. I know that seems obvious, but nothing is obvious when you’re shopping with a pre-teen that wants to look good for her friends.

It used to be so easy shopping for clothes when she was a baby. I could pick out the cutest outfits with little pink bunnies on them with matching lacey bonnets and tiny little booties. She didn’t seem to mind. She didn’t argue with me at all. Of course, she couldn’t speak then but that was fine with me. I miss those days.

As she got older, it became apparent that we did not share the same tastes in clothes. I suppose I should be happy. I’ll never have to worry that she’s going to raid my closet looking for something to wear, unless she’s putting together a Halloween costume or something for an “Oldies Dance” at school.

I don’t mind that her tastes are radically different from mine. What does bother me is that her tastes seem to be dictated by Brittany Spears, Jessica Simpson, and whichever rockstar is currently considered cool by my daughter and her friends. (Though I’m sure that they don’t use the word cool any more – that’s so yesterday.) Why do these rock stars have to show off their tummies? I’m tired of telling my daughter that’s not appropriate for school attire.

It has become a major struggle. She wants clothes that will help her to fit in with her friends.

I try to get her to pick clothes that actually cover her skin. “Mothuuur,” she moans and rolls her eyes when I pick out a cute matching shirt and pants outfit for her. “Nobody wears that,” she says. After hours of watching her try on school clothes, I begin to think that school uniforms are a great idea.

I suppose I should be glad that I don’t have a son. Many of my friends are fighting with their sons about their pants. It’s fashionable to buy pants so big that their underwear shows. At least I don’t have to deal with my daughter showing off her underwear. Not yet anyway – not until one of her idols decides to do it.

I have a plan to deal with this problem, but I’m going to need your help. If all the moms of America started to dress like Brittany Spears and Jessica Simpson, our daughters would be horrified. Suddenly bare midriffs wouldn’t be cool anymore. Girls would rush out to get clothes that would cover them so they wouldn’t look like us.

Are you with me? Are you ready to bare your skin for the good of our children? Let’s go and show off our tummies!

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.

Laura Browne is the author of a serious but practical & easy-to-use book for women, Why Can’t You Communicate Like Me? How Smart Women Get Results At Work, available at http://www.inyourfaceink.com. Go to this website for information on a free teleconference that will show you How To Deal With Difficult People At Work presented by Laura Browne. (The book is also available at Barnes & Noble online.)

When Laura isn’t writing, she helps women be more successful through WOMEN Unlimited, a nationally recognized resource for cultivating leadership excellence, http://www.women-unlimited.com.

(This article was originally printed in Cranberry Magazine.)

She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her face was lit up with joy. And as my daughter took my hand and moved closer to me, I lost control of my emotions.

Tears of joy ran down my face, right in the middle of the church where my daughter was having her first communion. Right in the middle of many of our family members, who had come to support her.

As she sat there in her white dress and veil, she seemed an angel to me. And when I saw the joy in her eyes, I was no match for it. The tears just came.

There’s no manual that comes for us in moments like this. They simply grab you and take you where they want. I sat there, wrestling with a number of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Would my daughter or other family members be embarrassed? After all, I’m a man! We’re supposed to control our emotions, right? Part of me wanted to have the freedom to cry freely without judgment. But mostly, the feeling that overcame me was one of pure joy and gratitude.

Here I was with a loving, supportive family, seeing my daughter go through an important rite of passage, and seeing her immense excitement and joy. Sharing that moment with her made everything in my life feel worthwhile. It made all the hardships of raising children seem insignificant. I felt as fortunate as anyone on earth. Why was I chosen to receive all these

blessings? It was the kind of moment that we don’t have enough of, and the kind of moment that fathers don’t always embrace as strongly as they could.

This kind of moment is what most of us live for, whether we know it or not. The moment in which our heart takes over. The moment that brings us the closest to pure love, when we see our child as an amazing gift from God.

On this day, the vision of my daughter snuggled next to me was etched in my mind forever.

Later, after the celebration was over, we arrived at home to begin business-as-usual. I thought about the many projects that I’d neglected to start. The garden, the lawn, and the inside of the house all screamed my name. I felt that familiar sense of having too many things to do, and too little time.

And then I remembered the moment with my daughter again, knowing that it could never be taken away from us. I knew then that the decision about which project to start wasn’t really important. In fact, it didn’t matter that much if I started any of them at all.

What was really important was keeping my heart open, for the next “moment.”

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents byphone to balance their life and improve their familyrelationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child and the experiment fails? You may feel that you’ve disrupted your life and wasted a year of your child’s time. Your child may even be kept back a grade by the local public school.

The answer to this concern is, can you risk not trying? Isn’t your child’s future worth the risk? If you see that your child is getting a bad education in public school, the worst thing to do is nothing. Then there is no chance of improvement. If you leave your children in public school, chances are good that their ability to read, self-esteem, and love of learning may be damaged, and they can waste twelve years of their lives. Look at the potential consequences to your child if you don’t try other education alternatives.

The real question is this: Is good enough, good enough for your child? Your child is unique and precious. He or she is born with a love of learning and a unique potential. Your child’s love of learning, self-confidence, and potential can be squashed in the rigid atmosphere of public schools. Is a third-rate public-school education good enough for your child. If you could give your child a rich, fun, rewarding education that will make your child’s mind and future blossom, isn’t that worth the risk of trying?

If the only problem

is money because you can’t afford $8000 a year private schools, then happily there is a great new option for you—Internet private schools. These schools are low-cost and can give your child a fun, quality, and rewarding education. Many of these schools cost less than $850 a year tuition, which is less than $85 a month for a ten-month school year.

While no one can guarantee you success, like anything else in life, if you keep trying, you will probably succeed in giving your child a great education at home. If you say to yourself, “I will make this work, for my child’s sake,” you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish. Tell yourself what Gene Kranz, actor Ed Harris’s character in the movie Apollo 13, said to his Houston crew about rescuing the astronauts in trouble: “Failure is not an option.” If you say this and mean it, you’re halfway to success for yourself and your child.

Joel Turtel is the author of “Public Schools, Public Menace: How Public Schools Lie To Parents and Betray Our Children.”

Website: http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com,

Email: lbooksusa@aol.com,

Phone: 718-447-7348.

Article Copyrighted © 2005 by Joel Turtel.

NOTE: You may post this Article on another website only if you set up a hyperlink to Joel Turtel’s email address and website URL, http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com

As many of you know, my book “The Barbarian’s Guide to Success” talks about not only making more money, but it also talks about having a successful family. Part of a successful family, is having successful children.

I was talking to a Phys. Ed. coach in a public school the other day. He was telling me some amazing things about the children he coaches. Apparently most of the children are in horrible shape. He was telling me that he has children twist their ankles when running on the track on a regular basis. Most have problems with any physical activity.

I heard a story on the news a few months ago that said the Army had to change its workout program in basic training because new recruits were getting stress fractures from the exercise. Now folks, all they do in calisthenics. Push ups and sit ups and jumping jacks. Stress fractures from that!

When I was a child we had to run laps regularly. We played hard, and were embarrassed to ask to go to the nurse. If one of us had to go to the nurse from running on the track we would have never lived it down.

My point is not that children should make fun of each other, but that many of our children are wimps.

I read an article a few years ago about how attitudes toward child rearing are changing. According to the article, fathers traditionally encouraged children to do things that were physical and mothers, traditionally, wanted to protect children from the potential harm that comes with such activity. I know this is not 100% true, as my mother encouraged me to play sports if I wanted to, but the article did say in general. According to the article, fathers are not encouraging their children as much. They are trying to protect the children more, much like what mother traditionally do. The result, kids that do very little or no exercising. Children that complain at the mildest ache or pain. In short, out of shape wimps. I did not believe it, but it seems to be coming true.

Now I know that you don’t want your child to be a wimp, so here are a few things to help get them in batter shape:

1.Throw out the video games and turn the “boob tube” off. To many kids are spending to much time in front of the TV.

2.Cook meals and keep tabs on what your child eats. I know it is hard sometimes, but if you don’t keep track they will be eating nothing but honey buns and Ho-Ho’s. BTW Boston Market’s non-fried chicken is as bad or

worse than other restaurants. Eating out should be a treat not the norm. Cook a meal and sit down as a family and eat. Your children will be healthier, both physically and mentally.

3. Along the lines of number 2, pack a lunch. School lunches are the worst and most children eat out of a vending machine at school. Take a few minutes and pack a lunch, its worth it. They’ll do better in school and be healthier and happier.

4.Teach your younger children to ride their bike and make your older ones play some sports. The older kids don’t have to be sports stars, but make them play tennis or swim or SOMETHING.

5. Kick the kids out of the house. Make them go out and play. To many children spend to much time indoors. Too much sun is harmful, but too little is as well, Savvy?!?

So make the kids get stronger. Make them run and play. Forget the video games. If they want to shoot something they can do it with cap guns. (Don’t tell me about the teen shooting stories on the news. Every single one of my friends and I played with cap guns and none of us killed someone. The problem with those kids ain’t toy guns, it is something way more serious.)

At the end of the day, make them move. They need it.

And with that I will say

Get the Barbarian Mind Set and keep it. Stay trú to yourself and your family, the rest will take care of itself.

Everte Farnell is a author and speaker and professional coach. In May of 2003 Everte was a divorced broke single father. Two and a half years later Everte is a happily married father of two. The company he and his wife worked to build supplies his family with a six figure income, and his children are happy healthy and well adjusted. He lives a life that many dream of. It is the life that he dreamed of in May of 2003.

In October of 2005 he released his book “The Barbarian’s Guide to Success” and is dedicated to helping other realize their dreams. He is a straight forward, politically incorrect, figure and makes very little time for detractors. He often says “So many ‘coaches’ have made their money by coaching. I do everything I coach. It is important that people know that I have faced or do face the same challenges they face. Life is an integrated process. Your professional life must support your personal and family life and vice versa, otherwise you will never find true success.” Everte Can be reached at his web page http://www.successfulBarbarian.com

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When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend to become dryduring the day more easily than at night. During the day they areawake and aware of their feelings and can go to the toilet normally.However, at night, when they are asleep, the usual feelings of a fullbladder aren’t sufficiently strong to wake them. The result is a wetbed. Or, young children have to continue wearing diapers at night.

Fairly soon they realise this is not normal. They wonder why theydon’t need a diaper during the day, but do need one at night. Theymight also talk to siblings or friends and discover that they don’tneed a night-time diaper. This will only compound their worries.

Throughout childhood, your son or daughter is trying to establishtheir identity; they are trying to find out who they are. They alsowant to make sure they ‘fit in’, that they are just like everyone elseand that they are not abnormal. As soon as they discover thatwetting the bed is not usual, they worry.

Your child might not say they are worried, but they will be. Whatthis means is that you need to do everything you can to reduce thepotential for concern. That means treating the bed wettingoccasions as normal, no trouble. Don’t make a big thing out ofthem. The more you make a fuss, the more the child thinks theyare unusual, out of the ordinary.

And when that happens, they aremore likely to continue wetting the bed.

Also, it’s important not to punish the child. One survey found that21% of all children who wet the bed are punished for doing so. Butthe child has no idea why the punishment is taking place. They aredoing something natural – urinating – and they can’t connect thepunishment to any crime. This can lead to all sorts of difficulties forthe child, including social ones. Punishment is alsocounterproductive, lengthening the time it takes to achieve nighttime dryness.

Instead of punishment, children who wet the bed need support,guidance and encouragement. Positive reinforcement of the goodtimes – when they have a dry night – is much more likely tosucceed in the long term.

The problem for most parents is that the best methods of dealingwith bed wetting also take a long time. The child also getsfrustrated at the delay in achieving a dry night. That’s wheyencouragement and a positive home and attitude are essential inhelping children come to terms with the difficulties they face.

The more you talk about bed wetting and make them feel abnormal,the worse the situation will become. The more you treat each bedwetting incident as a normal everyday occurrence, the quicker thedry nights will arrive.

For more information on how to deal with bed wetting and end the misery for your child visit Bed Wetting Info.

Today is a light day for me at work. The sales end just doesn’t have much going on and I just have a few follow up calls other than that. I have a much needed day with my children and wife.

My 3 year old “future warrior princess” and “barbarian in training” was working with some flash card with my wife. I walked into the room and watched her name,out of order, about 21 of the letters of the alphabet with no prompting. The rest she got with a small hint. So why can my daughter do this and her cousin, who is 6 mos older, can’t even remember my wife’s name. BTW my niece is a lovely and cute and has no mental problems. That would be another story.

The reason is because we expect more out of our daughter. She eats right and we expect her to do her best in everything. This is very much due to our Barbarian Mind Set. The Barbarians expected everyone to do everything they could. No slackers there. Slackers were left behind.

So with Morgan, we expect her to do her best, just like the barbarians would have expected, and she does. Kids live up to expectations, whether they are 1 or 17 or anywhere in between. Forget what the ‘experts’ say and expect your kid to do his/her best. Do not settle for less.

Everyday expect the best and give the best. The best love, understanding, instruction, and example you can. Do this everyday and you will get better, expect it everyday and you children will get better.

Get the Barbarian mind set and keep it. Stay trú to yourself and to your family everything else will work itself out.

Everte Farnell is a author and speaker and professional coach. In May of 2003 Everte was a divorced broke single father. Two and a half years later Everte is a happily married father of two. The company he and his wife worked to build supplies his family with a six figure income, and his children are happy healthy and well adjusted. He lives a life that many dream of. It is the life that he dreamed of in May of 2003.

In October of 2005 he released his book “The Barbarian’s Guide to Success” and is dedicated to helping other realize their dreams. He is a straight forward, politically incorrect, figure and makes very little time for detractors. He often says “So many ‘coaches’ have made their money by coaching. I do everything I coach. It is important that people know that I have faced or do face the same challenges they face. Life is an integrated process. Your professional life must support your personal and family life and vice versa, otherwise you will never find true success.” Everte Can be reached at his web page http://www.successfulBarbarian.com

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