Parenting resources

The process of learning to read is a journey filled with magic, excitement, and fun as well as frustration and impatience. Most of us do not remember how we learned to read (that is the “magic” piece). There are, however, a series of developmental and academic milestones one must move through in order to become a successful reader. Most children relish in the accomplishment of becoming a reader by the end of 1st grade but the road to literacy begins before a child can even talk or walk. Your child’s success as a reader is highly dependant on the opportunities s/he is presented with from the very beginning of life.

Below are reading milestones a typical child will master along the road. The lists are not exhaustive but include the important building blocks necessary to become a successful reader. Use these lists as a guide for monitoring your child’s progress; however, please keep in mind that just as in other areas of development, growth rates vary among children. If you have further questions or concerns please visit http://www.child-works.com and feel free to contact us.

Infant to age 3

Infants:

o Able to imitate sounds and/or complete words

o Begins to learn the meaning of spoken words (labeling objects, people, etc.)

o Plays games which involve taking turns, repetition, song

o Begins to understand facial expressions

o Develops new ways to express emotions (screaming, laughing, grunting, facial expressions)

Toddlers:

o Recognizes certain books by the cover

o Enjoys being read to, may have favorite books

o Labels objects or characters in a book

o May begin to label specific familiar letters in text

o May pretend to read

Age 3-4 years

o Enjoys listening to and talking about books

o Able to “read” environmental print (i.e. restaurant signs, stop sign, cereal boxes)

o “Reads” favorite text by memory

o Starts to play with and recognize rhyme through song, games, nursery rhymes

o Can identify some letters of the alphabet, may know some corresponding sounds

o May be able to recognize own name in print

Kindergarten

o Enjoys being read to

o Can retell a story including characters and setting

o Pretends to read books using picture clues

o Recognizes most letters of the alphabet (upper and lowercase) and the corresponding sounds

o Understands that print carries meaning

o Knows that text is read left to right, top to bottom

o Can identify and produce rhyming words

o Can determine whether or not two words begin with the same sound
o Can identify a small number of “high frequency” words in text (High frequency words are those words that occur often in the English language. Examples of these are the,

and, but, because, that, etc.)

o May begin to “sound out” simple words

1st grade

o Has a “toolbox” of strategies to read unknown words (letter/sound relationships, context, word families)

o Can easily decode phonetically regular words using letter/sound knowledge

o Has a lexicon of at least 100 “high frequency words” by the end of the year

o Can self-correct when mistakes are made while reading

o Can make reasonable predictions about an unknown story plot based on the book’s title and pictures

o Can read and understand simple fiction and non-fiction

o Can retell a story including: characters, setting, problem, solution

o can count # of syllables

o can segment and blend individual phonemes (sounds) to “break” or “make” a word

o can substitute, add, and delete phonemes in a word to make a new word

As was mentioned above, children move through these steps at different rates and with varying levels of ease and/or frustration. But what should you do if you have significant concerns about your child’s acquisition of these skills? The first step is to document your child’s areas of strength as well as areas of need specific to reading. What is s/he good at? What does s/he struggle with and/or not want to do? Next, set up a meeting with your child’s teacher. You are your child’s best advocate and you may notice something that the teacher has missed. On the other hand, your child’s teacher can offer unique insight and observations that provides clarification for your concerns. After discussing your child’s strengths and weaknesses, collaborate with your child’s teacher and create a plan of action. This plan might include: monitoring your child’s progress for a certain amount of time, small group work in the area of reading, strategies that can be implemented at home, a tutor might be in order, and, eventually, in some cases, meeting with the school’s pre-referral team will be necessary (a step prior to Special Education testing). Make sure that you feel confident with the plan and of course follow-up regularly to ensure necessary changes are made.

By keeping these reading milestones in mind, you will be better able to make the road to reading a more successful, exciting time for your child. Who knows, you might even catch a glimpse into the “magic” involved in learning to read.

Shannon Kalisher is a literacy specialist and consultant for Child-Works, LLC. Child-Works, “the ultimate parent toolbox”, provides consultation in the areas of education, sleep and behavior. Check outhttp://www.child-works.com literacy activity kits, tutoring services, and small group reading/writing workshops.

For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression or other serious issues, residential treatment centers that offer therapy-based solutions might be the best option. Residential treatment centers usually have a complete psychiatric staff available to monitor each troubled teen closely and provide therapy in addition to a curriculum of academics, exercise and personal development. Programs, which provide 24-hour supervision, structure and treatment, usually last from three to six months, although teens can attend for a longer period of time if necessary. These programs also work with families to identify issues in the home and address them so that teens have a supportive, structured home to return to after treatment.

There are three main types of residential treatment centers: therapeutic treatment programs, residential drug treatment centers, and combination residential-treatment programs. Each is geared toward helping troubled teens address and conquer a specific problem or multiple problems. Therapeutic treatment programs assist teens with psychiatric issues or suicidal tendencies, residential drug treatment centers offer specific help for substance abuse or addiction, and combination residential treatment programs address both psychiatric and drug abuse issues.

Although residential treatment centers generally have a high success rate in comparison to other programs, the biggest drawback to this type of placement is usually

the cost. They can start at $3,000-$4,000 per month go as high as $8,000 per month, depending on the services offered. Unlike most programs, however, some insurance companies will pay partial tuition for residential treatment centers, although they usually must be accredited programs.

For parents who are interested in a residential treatment center for their troubled teen, there are several things to look for, including a program’s verifiable statistics showing success rates, aftercare services once the teen leaves the center, therapy provided to address a teen’s specific issues. Other concerns include verifying that a program is licensed; this may affect whether an insurance companies will assist with the cost of tuition. Finally, confirm whether the staff is properly licensed and trained and whether there are medical doctors on staff.

A teen in crisis has a dramatic and negative impact on the whole family, but parents who act proactively to seek the appropriate treatment for their troubled teen will realize that lasting solutions are available and can salvage and even strengthen the relationship between parent and teen.

Troubled Teens Info provides detailed information on schools, programs, camps, and homes for troubled teens. Troubled Teens Info is the sister site of Relationships Web.

“What’s for dinner?” Those are some of my most least favorite words to hear. They’re right up there with, “It wasn’t my fault,” “None of my friends are doing it,” and “You just don’t understand”.

The problem with these words is they normally mean I’ve got to figure out what to feed my family. You would think it would be easy. It seems like an innocent question, until you’ve made dinner over and over and over again; one day blending into the next, a mélange of meatloafs, baked chickens, hamburgers and spaghetti. If only dinner didn’t happen every night! It’s so repetitious.

And it’s not just making the food that’s difficult. Planning meals gives me a headache. I worry if I’m giving my family the right amount of food from the food pyramid. (Does anyone else remember when we had only four main food groups? The new food groups mix me up. Is popcorn a vegetable? Do the raisins in Cinnamon Raisin Bread count as a serving of fruit? And what about Pop-Tarts®? Does that count as a bread, fruit or a separate category of things that you should never eat?

As someone that thinks pizza is the perfect food, I’m not terribly qualified to determine if my family is getting the right amount of nutrition. Actually, left by myself, I’ll be happy just to eat a bag of corn chips (does that count as a vegetable?) for dinner, however, I’m fairly sure that’s not a good idea.

My family complained that we ate the same old things for dinner so I decided to try a new recipe. And as long as I was going to experiment, I thought I should make something high-fiber, low-fat, high protein and all those things I think I’m supposed to be serving.

The tofu, bean and walnut loaf recipe looked like a healthy replacement for the meatloaf that everyone complained that they were tired of eating. My family was as supportive as I expected when I announced what I was making for dinner. “Gross!” wailed my daughter. My husband said

nothing. He’s too smart for that. However, later, he did mention that he had to work overtime that night. Suddenly my daughter “remembered” that her best friend had invited her over for dinner.

I’ll show them, I thought that night as I made the tofu, bean and walnut loaf for myself. My first bite was… chewy. My second bite reminded me of one of my daughter’s art projects – a mixture of cardboard and clay. Perhaps I had left something out of the recipe; like taste. My third bite… actually I gave up and shoved the rest in the back of the refrigerator. It was as bad as my daughter and husband had imagined. Actually, it was probably worse. I had to console myself with a frozen mini pizza that I found hidden in the freezer.

The loaf wasn’t a total loss though. I never told my family how terrible it tasted. And whenever they start complaining about eating the same food, I just suggest the tofu, bean and walnut loaf. It’s wonderful to see how quickly they praise my boring hamburgers and chicken.

So if you want a solution to boring dinners, just look for a tofu, bean and walnut loaf recipe. You don’t actually need to make it. Just leave it around where your family can see it. You’ll be amazed how the threat of something healthy can suddenly make your old recipes seem like gourmet meals.

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.

Laura Browne is the author of a serious but practical & easy-to-use book for women, Why Can’t You Communicate Like Me? How Smart Women Get Results At Work, available at Barnes & Noble online, http://www.bn.com. Laura offers free teleconferences on How To Deal With Difficult People At Work. For more information,go to http://www.inyourfaceink.com.

When Laura isn’t writing, she helps women be more successful through WOMEN Unlimited, a nationally recognized resource for cultivating leadership excellence, http://www.women-unlimited.com.(This article was originally printed in Cranberry Magazine.)

I know exactly what I was doing when you were born, because it’s still unfinished, just as I left it. My private Pompei.

I was cleaning my office. Not cleaning it, actually. On my way to organizing Important Things I stumbled on the assorted This and That of the last several years, and meaning to spend only a few minutes visiting, looked up just in time to see the last light tiptoe from the room, having whittled the whole day away right from that spot.

Everywhere are piles of ideas. Some that I abandoned, others that abandoned me. Outlines and rough drafts, clever titles, opening lines, unresolved poems, manuscript middles without beginnings or ends. A writer’s unborn children.

An old address book. People and places I can neither remember nor forget.

A sympathy card I never sent. Simon & Garfunkle sheet music. A note from your Daddy.

My weights are in the corner with my step bench, half

on either side, next to a box of things I keep for Reasons I Can’t Explain. A set of bamboo wind chimes, an old sketch pad, a cone of vanilla incense and a mini stapler. A single garden stake. Brown shoelaces, still in the wrapper, caught with a pin shaped like a Treble clef.

Now you’re here, and you are my Important Thing. You are my This and That. You are my ideas and my address and my Reasons, and I hope I don’t have time to clean the office for at least the next eighteen years.

Sally Bacchetta – Freelance Writer/Sales Trainer

Sally Bacchetta is a mother and award-winning freelance writer. She has published articles on a variety of topics, including parenting, RFID, selling skills, motivation, and pharmaceutical sales.

You can contact her at sb14580@yahoo.com and read her latest reflections on motherhood on her New Mommy Sally Blog.

“When I was your age…..”

If you don’t believe this one is useless, just watch your teen’s eyes the next time you say this one. You will see them glaze over as they go into the “I’ve got to sit through this again” trance.

They hear absolutely nothing you say after “when I was your age.”

Step back a moment and consider what you are trying to teach them. In doing family therapy, I will often ask a parent, in front of the teen, “what were you like when you were 16?” The teen is usually listening intently and gets to see a side of the parent they may have never seen before.

ParentTip One – An alternative is to work this information into everyday conversation, without the dreaded “when I was your age.”

ParentTip Two – If

you must talk about how things were when you were their age, at least make it humorous or shocking. For example, how we actually had to get up to change the TV channel and cartoons were on only on Saturday mornings.

Here’s what can often happen after reading an article like this one.

As a parent, you’ll catch your self saying “when I was your age” again. That’s natural. Sometimes it takes conscious attention to change. Simply stop your self, remember what your are trying to teach, and use one of the suggested alternatives.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

At least with me once I found out who my biological parents were it became more difficult before it got easier. Still to this day it was the right decision on my part and my adopted parents.

What made it more challenging was that my biological mother and adopted mother are sisters. For twelve years my mother who I thought was my aunt, and my adopted mother played opposite rolls. What was even weirder was my four cousins were really my half brothers and sisters. Am I still glad? Yes. Did I have a right to know this? You bet. Was it easy for everyone involved? No way!

From the beginning of my life; my biological mother and siblings and adopted parents for that matter new there would come a day I would want to know. They also new that I had every right to know. They just did not know how or when. What terrified them even more was, not knowing what my reaction would be.

This is a key concern of

parents today day. What will my child do? Will they leave or stay? Will they love us still? All kinds of emotions can and will go through the minds. Are they still glad they told me? Yes they are. You see, a house can not be built without its foundation. No matter how hard it may be to get out of the ground, it must be built. Until I found my foundation, my house with my adopted parents could not be built.

Parents, your decision is not all about you.

Did I develop a relationship with my siblings? Yes I did. Did I have one with my biological mother? Yes!

Seventeen years later I found my real father with the help of my adopted mother!

Greg Ryan is a high profile fitness expert and best selling author eight books. His latest; Fitting In – My story on adoption, steroids and life. And Choices; Do adopted children have the right to know? For more information on speaking, seminars or workshops email at greg@resolutions.bz

Fitness Tips – diet plan, exercises, weight loss and gain muscles latest information.

Law of Belonging – One of the greatest needs of teenagers (after music, screen time and the phone) is a strong sense of belonging. They need to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves. And guess what? If they do not get this need met in a healthy place, they will begin to look for ways to get this need met anywhere else they can find it.

Law of Power – Once you’ve entered into a power struggle with a teenager, you’ve already lost. It’s like the closing line “War Games”, “Interesting game, the only winning move is not to play”.

Law of Control – Trying to control a teenager is like trying to put pants on a gorilla. It’s just going to frustrate you and really irritate the gorilla. Not a great way to live day to day.

Law of Management – A management approach puts the parents clearly in charge. The goal is to eventually manage them out of your lives, and into their own.

Law of Voice – In a well functioning family, the teens almost always get a voice. They just don’t always get a vote. Consistently violate either side of this equation and you’ve got trouble.

Punishment is often done out of anger and is

usually for the parent.

Punishment breeds resentment and a desire for revenge.

Teens have many creative ways to get you back.

Law of Consequences – Consequences teach teens about the real world. In general they need to be related, reasonable, respectful, swift, strong and short-term.

Law of Structure – Parents need to set boundaries & structure from day one. If you don’t do it while they are young, what makes you think they will obey curfew when they have a car?

Law of W’s – When teens are gone from home, parents need to know who they are with, where they are going, what they will be doing and what time they will be back.

Law of 20 Feet – The law of 20 feet states that at a certain age, you must walk at least 20 feet away from your teen if you are in a public place. Thirty feet if you’re in the mall.

Visit http://www.TheArticleGuy.com for more leading edge tips and tools for writing articles that bring you prospects, publicity and profits. You can also subscribe to our monthly Article Writing & Marketing Tips Newsletter. You are also invited to visit my Express-Start Article Writing Program for more information on the next article writing tele-seminar.

Most parents think childcare is a baby-sitting service. This is a misconception, as childcare is a profession as any other. There are so many important things to note about the challenging and rewarding career of being a childcare provider.

Childcare is a business and the providers are professionals. The childcare providers will have rules, regulations, work schedules’ and pay rates for the care provided. The provider will take his/her own time to create a handbook, contract, and other details that help to foster communications and understanding.

Childcare providers and parents should be clear on the rules such as transportation, discipline approaches, food to be given, and other care issues. If the rules put forth by the providers are not acceptable by the parents, both of them have the liberty to go elsewhere.

As per the Rule-101 in the kid book, accidents will happen. Parents should not over-react if their

child gets a scratch or bumps a knee. Providers do their very best to keep kid play safe and positive, and to foster sharing and friendship among the children.

Avoid putting a provider in custody battles, spouse disagreements or other domestic concerns. Providers will abide by the signed agreement of who can and cannot bring or pick up a child. If there is a court order, the provider needs to have a copy.

When selecting your child day care center, do be selective. Survey the playground area, general cleanliness of the facility and most of all check licensing (if applicable in your local area).

For more information about child day care, visit Child Day Care

David Chandler

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To every thing there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)

Four of the boys at training tonight are preparing themselves for their first fight at our forthcoming Christians vs. Lions promotion, scheduled for only three weeks hence. All of these lads are boxers.

Three of those four – Joel, Daniel and young Dave – are friends, finishing their last year of school together. They are a great example of how guys from different ethnic backgrounds (Australian, Latin American, and Lebanese respectively) can still be the best of mates. The fourth guy, Louis, is an enormous Islander man. I’m not sure whether he’s Tongan or from the Cook Islands, but he’s a gentle giant really. He reminds me of Mahendar – a regular here at the Youth Centre. They’re both big, black and burly, but with gentle hearts. Louis has a few years on the other boys who were there tonight. He’s a natural in the ring, and plays the role of the older brother very well indeed.

These four boys are the cream of our crop in the fight club at the moment. They are all capable pugilists, but more than that, they are each a good embodiment of what our club is on about – courage, integrity, self-discipline and teamwork. This isn’t to say that none of them have ever been troublemakers. Indeed, I’ve got a court appearance coming up with one of the boys, scheduled for shortly after his fight, and he’s on quite serious charges. Even so, I’ve seen nothing but positive growth since he joined the club, and I’m hoping for positive results both in his fight and in his court case.

What is it that makes fight training such a powerful tool in the molding of young lives? There was a time when I thought of fighting as just another form of sport. I have come to believe though that fight training taps into something deep in the male psyche, in a way that no other sport does.

When I used to talk to my old girls in the church about the problems we had with our young people, they often used to say ‘what we need is another war’. I always thought that that was a terrible thing to say – that a war was the last thing that anybody wanted. And of course the girls didn’t really want a war. They had just experienced the benefit of being part of a community that had learnt to pull together through difficult times. And they had seen the positive effect that soldiering could have on the lives of young men.

I believe that men were made to fight. It’s part of our genetic makeup. We may have managed to emerge from the jungle, but there’s still a bit of the jungle in each of us, and pugilistic activity keys right in to those ancient impulses – releasing the wild man within.

This theory isn’t original to me of course. It’s part of the fabric of the Bible – there behind every great warrior-king who showed himself to be a ‘mighty man of God’ in battle, and behind Jacob, who went toe to toe with God Himself and yet lived to talk about it (Genesis 32)! These were men who knew how to fight and pray and bleed and serve.

For a more philosophical exposition on the significance of fighting, we need look no further than Plato’s Republic.

For those who haven’t read it, in the Republic Socrates explores the concept of justice through examining both the just society and the just individual, and then he goes on to delineate their common elements. On the societal level he notes that a just community is made up of a number of vital components parts: rulers who govern, workers who labour, and an army that functions to protect them both. In the

individual he finds a similar configuration – the mind that governs the body, the limbs that do the work, and the ‘themos’ (which is often translated as ‘temper’ or ‘aggression’) that plays a parallel role in protecting the individual. Justice in the Republic consists in having all of the component parts (in either individual or society) being present and working together properly.

In the wisdom of the ancient Greeks then, the ‘themos’ is the vital third component in the human constitution, along with the mind and the body. Without the ‘themos’, no individual is complete, and at a social level, no society will ever achieve a true state of justice.

It is my opinion that one of the negative legacies of feminism in Western culture has been an attempt to deny the ‘themos’, which seems to be more strongly present in men than in women. This has been for the most understandable of reasons – because of the excesses of male violence. But perhaps it’s time that we realised that trying to eliminate ‘themos’ from society altogether is like trying to eliminate spiders and snakes because we find them distasteful. We soon discover that the created order needs all of its creatures – even those that some of us find ugly – if it is to function properly.

My experience with a vast number of men is that they tend to be either functioning as doormats to their wives and girlfriends, or they’re beating up on them. This is a reflection of the same crisis in dealing with the ‘themos’. When we attempt to repress the themos’, it often spurts out in the most horrible and destructive of forms. When we successfully repress it, we emasculate our men, so that they’re no longer able to stand up for anything. Ironically, of course, such modern day men are not only unable to offer any strength to society. They’re no longer even attractive to the women they sought to please.

The only constructive alternative is for us to reharness the ‘themos’ and channel it creatively. We need to get in touch with that distinctive male energy – recognise it, affirm it, and then learn to bring it under control so that it can be put to good use. Perhaps when we are able to do this, then we will see this country produce leaders of the calibre of Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, or Mahatma Ghandi – strong people of principle who stand up powerfully for what they believe in. As it is, our leaders always seem to come across as being either ‘wooses’ or criminals or both. God knows we need some real men in this country who know what it means to love their women, to be fathers to their children, and to serve God and their community with their strength!

Fight training, I do believe, is a means to getting at that ‘themos’ and learning to bring it under control. When done in the right way, fight training can help a young person to discover who they are and can help them to bring their futures into focus. They can then come to see their role as warriors in this society who will stand up and use their energy to build a better community and to fight for things worth fighting for.

What about these boys who I watched training with me tonight? Will they go on to become ‘mighty men of God’? I don’t know. But they’re on the right track, and they’re further ahead now than when they first started their training..

You have just read an excerpt from ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist’, a book by ‘Fighting’ Father Dave Smith – Parish Priest, community worker, professional fighter, father of three.

Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to help fund his work.  He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, has a sixth-degree martial arts black belt, and has received numerous awards for his work with young people.

Get a free preview copy of his book, ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist‘ when you sign up for Dave’s newsletter at www.fatherdave.org

The Grandparent Connection

How many of us realized that Canada holds a special day in September dedicated to grandparents? Actually since 1994, the second Sunday of September has been designated to celebrate the gift of grandparents. Great as that may seem, as is Mother’s day and Father’s day, the love and appreciation that is in our hearts should be shown at every possible opportunity, one never knows when it could be your last! Life is precious; it is our gift, as are the loved ones blessed to us.

Reflecting upon and enjoying the memories I have of my own grandparents, who are no longer with us, I realized how the circle of life is truly a miracle. When we were small children, we just wanted to ‘grow-up’, get on to the next stage of life. As parents, you couldn’t wait for that next stage, but all of a sudden life is a blur. Kids are gone, marrying and becoming parents themselves. I have to admit there are advantages to this middle age sometimes referred to as ‘the sandwich generation’! One can reflect back, still remember most of it, and also look forward to the next stage of life; maybe grand parenting. (I love to ponder on how much wiser I become as my kids and parents get older.)

Each one of my grandparents gave me so much that I could never have learned from a book or school, and now I sit in admiration at what my children are ‘getting’ from theirs. Most importantly is that connection one cannot explain. So much has changed in society, as the aging population seems to be living longer, better quality lives. They have had to adapt to the ‘high-tech’ era of cell phones, text messaging, debit machines, Internet banking, e-mailing and on-line chat. It is amazing how the Internet has bridged the gap for grandparents and grandchildren, in spite of the physical distance.

Nowadays, the grandparent’s role is more important than

ever as our culture is becoming more and more fragmented. There is more ‘step’ grand parenting than ever before. Parents are taking on more due to financial stressors, marriages are breaking down at an alarming rate, kids are having to spend more time alone with TV and Internet influences, and there is plainly more negative than positives out there constantly tempting them along. When a grandparent can fill a gap somewhere to ease that stress, it can only have a positive outcome.

What I see in my generation of friends that are now enjoying grandchildren is the gift of LOVE, more so than materialistic attention. Children bring enjoyment and purpose into the grandparent generation so it becomes an amazing ‘circle of life and love’. The parent, in between, gets to witness that bond grow, and also gains the wisdom and encouragement of their much experienced parents. The children gain at every angle, with grandparents who are good supporters, caregivers, buffers, advisors, confidants, teachers and comforters. Who better to teach history, family trees, moral values, money values, fishing and cooking than grams, gramps, oopa, ooma, nana, papa, memere, pepere, granny, pops, or grandma, and grandpa?

No matter what culture or walk of life, grandparents are the link to family culture, history and tradition. They have not only paid their taxes and dues, but paved the way to the world we now live in; they are the rocks in the face of adversity, having lived through the thirties or even World War 2, they are the bridge between generations. If children are fortunate to have loving grandparents in their lives, they already have a powerful emotional bond to nurture them for the rest of their lives. “ Grand parenting is a gift between 2 people at opposite ends of their journey.”“ Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained by a righteous life.” (Proverbs 16-31)

May we all learn to appreciate The Grandparent Connection in our lives!