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Many public schools not only fail to educate our children, they can also be dangerous places. These schools are a natural breeding ground for drugs and violence. Children are packed into classrooms with twenty or more other immature children or teenagers, all the same age. Here, peer pressure becomes socialization, pushing many children into using drugs and alcohol.

Put twenty teenagers in the same room, or hundreds of teenagers in the same school, and you have a breeding ground for violence. Young boys and girls have raging hormones and budding sexuality, and male teenage testosterone levels are high. Teenagers are in the half-child, half-adult stage of life and often lack judgment and are emotionally immature.

Pack these teenagers together into cramped little classrooms, six to eight hours a day, and you have a mixture that can lead to trouble. It’s inevitable that violence will break out—it’s built into the system.

Also, even the most conscientious teacher is usually too busy and overworked to give children the individual attention they need. Critics of home-schooling often say that home-schoolers don’t get proper socialization. However, so-called socialization in public schools is often cruel and violent. Bullying, peer pressure, racial cliques, sexual tensions, and competition for the teacher’s approval all create a stressful, sometimes violent environment.

Compulsory-attendance laws also contribute to violence in the schools. In most states, these laws force children to stay in school until they are sixteen years old or graduate high school. Teenagers who hate school, or are aggressive or potentially violent sociopaths, can’t leave. As a result, they often take out their hatred and aggression on other students. Those children want to learn are forced to endure bullying and violence by these troubled teens.

Also, the law is on the side of violent or disruptive students who are classified as “disabled.” In 1975, Congress passed the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Based on this legislation, in 1988 the Supreme Court ruled that schools could not remove disruptive disabled children from classrooms without a parent’s consent. If parents don’t consent, teachers are out of luck. Those ‘disabled’ children who are socially impaired, can’t get along with other kids, or sometimes turn violent, therefore fall under this category. Of course, this adds yet another layer of potentially violent

children who teachers can’t remove from class.

Violence in public schools can literally kill your child. In the 2000-2001 school year, students were victims of about 1.9 million nonfatal violent crimes such as rape, assault, and robbery. This figure equals about 9,000 violent incidents every school day throughout America, or about one every three seconds.

Public schools are also a drug pusher’s heaven. Thousands of teenagers, pushed by intense peer-pressure, smoke, drink beer, and try marijuana or hard drugs. Schools put hundreds of children together in one big building or courtyard. Mix in overworked or indifferent teachers who have little time or desire to supervise extracurricular activities. That’s why drug pushers circle schoolyards like vultures. Where else can they find groups of vulnerable victims all herded together for their convenience? Is it any wonder that drug and alcohol use is a major problem in public schools?

In the 2001-2002 school year, 34.9 percent of tenth-grade students surveyed said they had smoked cigarettes within the past year. Fifty-one and two tenths percent said they had drunk beer, and 33.4 percent said they got bombed on that beer. Also, 29.8 percent of the same tenth-grade students said they had smoked marijuana within the past year, and 78.7 percent of these marijuana users said they got “bombed or very high” on it.

When children are home-schooled, parents can advise and watch over their kids. At home, there is no peer pressure to try drugs, as there is in public schools. Drug pushers don’t hover around private residences.

Parents should therefore ask themselves: Do my children belong in violent, drug-infested public schools? Are there other education options for my children? In “Public Schools, Public Menace,” I discuss many quality, low-cost education options parents can use right now if they decide to take their children out of public school.

Joel Turtel is an education policy analyst, and author of “Public Schools, Public Menace: How Public Schools Lie To Parents and Betray Our Children.”Contact Information:Website: http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com, Email: lbooksusa@aol.com, Phone: 718-447-7348. Article Copyrighted © 2005 by Joel Turtel. NOTE: You may post this Article on another website only if you set up a hyperlink to Joel Turtel’s email address and website URL, http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com.

Alcohol Abuse information, tips, recovery and treatment.

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Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped in part by the influence of parents. Your child is not born with a self-image or self-assurance. Both traits are learned through experiences beginning from birth.

But who is the self-assured child? Simply put, it is the child who is confident of their self-worth, and their talents and abilities. A confident and outgoing child, who is not afraid to show the world all the unique ways in which he / she shines.

The process of making a self-assured child begins at birth. Children are born with clean slates and do not implicitly know and understand their self-worth. The seeds of self-assurance and self-esteem, therefore, must be carefully sown by the adult figures in a child’s life.

Let’s take a look at 3 ½ year old Jennifer:

Jennifer attends pre-school. As part of the year-end wrap up, Mom and Dad meet with Jen’s pre-school teacher, Mrs. Hamilton.

Mrs. Hamilton tells Jen’s parents that she has noted that Jennifer is always seeking feedback on her accomplishments. “When Jennifer finishes a drawing,” notes Mrs. Hamilton, “she is undoubtedly never sure if it is good, and, therefore, fails to exhibit any happiness. Instead, she asks her teachers for re-assurance that the drawing is beautiful and has made them happy.”

Jennifer’s parents have noted similar behavior at home and during play dates with other children. “Jennifer has tremendous difficulty making selections from colors of crayons to food,” states Jennifer’s mother. “If I ask her what she’d like for dinner, she always asks ‘What are my choices?’ and I begin to narrow the selections for her. Sometimes, I even make the decision for her. No matter what I choose – even if it’s her favorite meal – Jennifer’s never happy and always demands to know why she has to eat that.” Mrs. Hamilton tells Jennifer’s parents that she too has noted that Jennifer will talk back to a teacher or adult in charge, demanding an explanation for having to follow

direction. “No matter how many times we try to talk to her,” notes Jennifer’s father, “she doesn’t seem to have an awareness of her behaviors.”

The following suggestions may help you raise self-assured children:

• Praise your child: Applause the effort, not just the outcome. Start early and give genuine compliments freely and honestly.

• Observe your child’s schoolwork and other activities: Offer your child constructive feedback on their work, this will allow your child to have a safe and realistic view of themselves

• Frame social interactions: Give your child the boundaries with which to speak and respond appropriately to others

• Outline choices: Allow your child to choose from a limited amount of choices. Providing too many will overwhelm the child and may cause frustration and confusion

• Lead: Always keep a watchful eye and take charge when necessary

Keep In Mind: The process of building self-esteem needs to begin at birth but it’s never too late to implement positive behaviors.

The recipe for success in raising a self-assured child is simple; connect with your child through positive interactions and communications, and offer unconditional love and support.

You will forever have an impact upon the manner in which your child interacts and feels about themselves. Reach for assistance from a professional if you have any questions.

Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the “Keep ‘Em Off My Couch” blog, provides real simple answers for solving life’s biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com

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The older my daughter gets the more it’s sinking in that I don’t have much time left to spend with her! She’s turning 16 in a couple of months, and I know I won’t be seeing her much after she gets her driver’s license.

It’s hard to find things to do with your teenage daughter. You might be busy, they might have better things to do…I encourage you not to let this time slip away from you. Our interests may be very different from theirs, but there’s always things you can do to bridge the gap.

If you have more than one daughter, then make sure they each get their special time alone with you. I have found that these activities are also great for bonding with teens you want to reach out to and build relationships with, like a step-daughter.

I’ve done all of the following activities with my daughter and/or step-daughter and haven’t regretted a moment. Someday I will be able to look back and appreciate the moments we shared, and I hope they will too.

1. Take your dog(s) on a walk together.

2. Cook dinner together, letting her choose the menu and help shop for the ingredients.

3. Pick her up from school and take her out to lunch, even if she misses part of a class.

4. Drive to the closest big city for the night, stay in a hotel, and spend all the

next day shopping and sightseeing, taking time to stop for lunch at an outdoor cafe.

5. Read the same book together and talk about it when you’re done reading it.

6. Do a scriptural book study together.

7. Get up early on a Saturday morning, go get coffee, and spend the morning going to yard sales or looking through thrift shops or dollar stores.

8. Make cookies together to give to a friend.

9. Make holiday gifts together to give to friends and family. Visit http://www.crafty-moms.com for easy craft ideas.

10. Go with your daughter to the concert of her choice.

11. Buy her the materials to start a high school scrapbook. Work on your scrapbooks while she works on hers.

12. Join a local fitness club and work out together. My daughter and I joined a local women’s gym that is very inexpensive ($40/month for both of us). We get up at 5:00 a.m. three days a week to go exercise before she goes to school and I go to work.

13. Go to the local video store and rent a couple of “chick flicks” to enjoy together in the comfort of your home. Kick the men out of the house and lounge around in your pajamas.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For moreinspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit herweb sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com andhttp://www.christian-parent.com

AK Fitness Tips – diet plan, exercises, weight loss and gain muscles latest information.

4 traps to avoid

Trap 1 – Parents need to realize the trap that is being set when your kids ask,

“Well, why can’t I (fill in the blank)?”

Many well-intentioned parents then proceed to give a well-reasoned response and then wonder why the kids blow up and don’t accept it.

Here’s a response I believe a parent will never get:

“Thank you for that explanation Mom and Dad. I’ve never thought of it that way before. And now that you’ve explained it that way, I can’t believe I wanted to do that. I apologize for asking. Thanks for setting me straight.”

If your child ever says this, call me immediately because something is terribly wrong.

Yet, as parents, we act as if that is the response we expect. Most of the time, no explanation will suffice.

So sometimes “because we said so” is the most effective and appropriate response.

Trap 2) When kids yell,

“You never listen to me” and “You just don’t understand,”

and you insist, “Yes we do,” you’re talking about two different things.

You’re not on the same page when it comes to your definitions of listening and understanding.

Many times, when teenagers say you just don’t understand or listen, what they are really saying is you are not agreeing with me, and I’m mad and I’m going to try to get my way!

The solution is for parents to make it clear that though the teen will almost always get a voice in discussions, she won’t always get a vote.

Taking this position exposes the game the kids are playing and helps to put the parents in charge.

Trap 3) Hearing your kids scream,

“I hate you!”

can be painful to many parents. It

doesn’t help that the words are not spoken softly.

Many times when kids yell “I hate you,” they are not talking to you but to themselves.

Adolescence is a tremendously difficult time for some kids, filled at times with low self-esteem, self-contempt and self-loathing. Unfortunately, their anger and frustration is misdirected and comes out at their parents.

It’s important to point out that this doesn’t make it acceptable. It’s not.

It just exposes what is really happening.

Trap 4) There is a common trap into which many parents fall. It’s the trap of trying to make your teenagers see or do something a certain way, usually the way you think it should be done. The more you try to persuade them to do it your way, the more they are committed to doing it their way.

Just as in most traps, the more you aimlessly struggle, the more trapped you become and the harder it is to get out.

Focus on the need for parents to stop deciding what they are going to make their kids do and start deciding what they’re going to do. This puts parents back in charge by giving them control over something they can control: themselves.

Sometimes this involves deciding what is acceptable and unacceptable and then sticking with it.

It’s OK for your teenager not to like it.

That’s part of being a teenager.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for 100′s of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his f’ree weekly internet newsletter “ParentingYourTeenager.”

Homework for preschoolers… what is your response to this practice? Well, let me first clarify what kind of homework I am referring to. It’s the kind that requires a child to copy numerous pages of alphabets or words. And if the child is learning mandarin, it would be copying pages of chinese characters. With regards to this controversial issue, there seems to be 3 kinds of parents:

1. Parents that laugh at the idea of preschool homework. They say it is absurd and unnecessary. Repetitive writing doesn’t do them any good. Children at this age should play because that is how they learn. Homework takes out the fun in learning.
2. Parents that say it is necessary. How else are parent’s going to know what their children are learning in preschool. Revision and practice is a must, even if it’s boring,. Plus it gives children an opportunity to learn discipline. They need it if they are going to be ready for “real” school.
3. Parents that are 50/50. They totally agree that playing is important. But they also agree that homework has some benefits too. Problem is they are confused:
   
   • Learning should be fun. Homework is not fun. It will kill my child’s enthusiasm to learn.
   • But homework must serve some good. If not why haven’t they thrown out that idea.
   • If I don’t bother with the homework, it’s still ok as there are other ways to learn. But if I don’t bother with the homework, she won’t learn discipline. And later when she goes to ‘real’ school, she will also slack in her homework assignments.

So, which am I? The one that spells C-O-N-F-U-S-I-O-N. The following is a typical roller coaster I go through. I’m sure many parents are familiar with the following process:

Reminder: “Have you done your homework yet?”

Direct order: “Do your homework now!”

Supervision: “Stop playing around and focus on your homework.”

Attempt to encourage:“Come on, you can do this. Just get it over with then you can go play”

Frustration:“You are not done yet?”

Threatenings:“Finish your homework or else ….”

Resignation:“Aiyah, you want to do or don’t want to do, it’s up to you. I give up.”

So much unnecessary stress and tension. There has to be a better way to handle this homework battle. After much reading and thinking, I’ve come up with 6 things that will help release the tension:

1. I chose the preschool. By doing so means I indirectly agree to their ideas and ways. So if there is homework to be done, do it. No point going to the teacher to debate on whether such homework is of value and blaming them for your high blood pressure and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome. If you don’t want the headache of homework, look for a preschool that will grant you that wish.
2. Communicate with the teacher. Find out how they deal with unfinished homework. Are they the monsters that we make them out to

   be? The ones that hold a rotan in one hand and fiery criticism spewing out from their mouths? Or do they allow the child to work at their own pace?

3. Don’t focus on the negative. Ignore the crooked, mangled looking writing. Instead praise the decent looking ones. More important is the effort they put in and not the outcome of that effort. Praise often to make homework a pleasant experience.
4. Do other activities that give meaning to their homework. Reading aloud to them everyday will teach them that the letters and words they write can make beautiful stories. Find all the “a” words in that story. Sing songs like “Ant on the Apple”. Use playdough to create that alphabet. Be creative. There are tons of ideas from books and the internet to help you. If you have no ideas, refer back to the teacher. Make their homework a blend of exciting activities and not a stand alone boring chore.
5. Talk with your child. Find out how they feel towards homework. What is the problem? Sometimes all they need is to be heard. Don’t brush off or put down their feelings. Find a solution together. This is what I do with my daughter Karina:
   
   Mom: What time are you going to finish your homework?
   
   Karina: After dinner. I’m tired now.
   
   Mom: Ok. What can Mommy do if Karina doesn’t do it then?
   
   Karina: I will sit time out until I decide to finish it.
   
   Mom: Sounds good. Do you need help with your homework?
   
   Karina: No. I can do it myself.
   
   Mom: That’s great. Let’s write down what we just discussed. Anything you want to add?
   
   Karina: Yes. I get ice-cream once I finish my homework.
   

   Notice there is no yelling. Her feelings and ideas are respected and she takes responsibility for her actions. I especially like the idea of making an agreement. When promises are put in writing and the child has to put their signature to it, there is added weight to the promise. The child feels valued when she see her words are important enough to be written down.

6. Be close by. Assure them you are available when help is needed. Let them know they are not alone to tackle tough assignments. Don’t take it for granted that what looks easy to you may be tough for them.

So my conclusion about preschool homework… why have a cow over it? If it’s boring, let’s make it a pleasant kind of boring. It takes effort to figure out how to do that. And then it takes more effort to fight that nagging desire to play dictator. But with a plan in hand and some digging into our bag of tricks, it can be done. Yes, preschool homework can be stress free. Decide today and go for it.

Article written by Lim Ai Lian, owner of http://valuebookshop.com, apremier specialty bookshop for parents and children in Malaysia and Singapore.

Spending quality time with your children doesn’t need to cost a lot of money. What’s most important, is that you take the opportunity to bond with them. The time that you spend with your children will make them feel special and they will treasure it for a lifetime. Letting your children know that you are there for them, will create a lasting bond between you and your children.

The winter months can be rather dull for children since they are cooped up in the house more than they would like to be. This is a great time for you to let your children know you feel their discomfort by giving them some one on one attention from mom. It doesn’t require a great deal of money to make those boring winter days stuck indoors special.

One simple and inexpensive suggestion would be to make a plan with your child to watch his or her favorite television program or video together. Too much TV is not always a good thing, however, to get through a winter day trapped indoors, it’s a perfect activity. Shortly before you watch the program or movie you have selected with your children, ask them to help prepare some of their favorite snacks for the event. All children love to help mom mess up the kitchen a bit and especially if it means eating their favorite snack foods.

A couple quick and easy snack suggestions would be preparing smores, which happens to be my children’s favorite snack food. Not only do they like to eat them, but they love making them. Another suggestion might be what my kids like to call roller coaster snacks. Simply take a leaf of lettuce, a slice of cheese, and slice of lunch meat and layer them and then roll them up to make a healthy, but fun treat. I find that the Kraft singles work best for rolling. Usually, while my children assemble the snacks, I pour the drinks because

my children tend to spill easily. While having fun in the kitchen, be sure to monitor your children closely, especially if there is any heating to be done. Most often, if things need to be warmed up a bit, I prefer to handle that task myself. Always remember, Safety First when cooking in the kitchen with children. Your children will be delighted they were able to help you prepare the snacks and you will find they take their job seriously. In order to let your kids know that this is their special time with you, take the appropriate steps to make sure it’s an uninterrupted time together. Turn off the phones, put the work away, and the cleaning can wait till after the big event. Once, the food is prepared, simply sit back and enjoy the show.

A few other winter time activities for you and your children might be to go through all those photos you need to organize and place them in photo albums. Your child will love to reminisce with you and most of all, you will bond. You may also let your children help plan the dinner menu one night and let them help prepare it with you. Spending time with your child doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or be complicated. Most often just including them in a task you already have at hand is a special treat for them. For many children, it’s not about what you are doing, but to know they have your attention. Take these moments to talk and most importantly, listen to your children. You might be surprised at how much your children will open up when they feel they have your undivided attention.

This article is written by Tammy Pinarbasi, Owner of the Parent Super Site, http://www.parentsupersite.com. You may reprint this article or use it on your website, however, please be sure to place a link back to this site. Thank You…

Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it is important to provide the best opportunities available to my children. Through a process of home educating known as ‘unschooling’ and eclectic educational styles my children have opportunities that are unavailable through traditional means of education. I believe it is important to create leaders through individualized training and development.

A high-quality education is one of the most important things that we can provide our children. Exposure to a variety of topics, people, and adventures all contribute to a fulfilling educational experience. Resources abound in our daily lives for learning, we need to focus our minds on finding them.

Even as an adult, I find when I’m open to learning something new – I would be hard pressed not to find something new to learn. Education is a life long process that should be part of living. By separating it into a developed target of place and teachings, we limit the opportunities afforded to us on a daily basis from a multitude of resources.

Essays and journaling are great ways to share experiences, encourage writing skills, and keep track of trips. Making memories is

an important part of education and living – memories are what we often base our perceptions of life and choices for the future.

What memories are you making with your children? If you’d like to share them on the public portion of our web-blog, please feel free to add your story – or better yet, introduce your children to the fun aspects of blogging.

Jan Verhoeff has more than 14 years experience in teaching her own children. Her interest in education began early in her adult life, as she realized the importance of having an education herself. Having started her children in traditional schools, Jan found the life style didn’t work for her or her children. It worked far better to bring her children into a world where education was part of the life they lived. With one daughter well on her way to successfully accomplishing great things in life, and three more comfortably moving in the same direction, Jan feels confident that her ideas have been successful. Visit their family home school site at http://nbn.tabrenn.tripod.com/hs or their blog at http://homeschool101.blogspot.com

My mother’s parents were born in Germany, emigrating to America while still young. They ran a grocery store in New Jersey, weathering the depression, two world wars and six children. My mother, June, was the next to last, having one older sister and three older brothers. Her younger brother, Eddie, was a millstone around her neck. Her older brothers shooed her away constantly, calling her bulgy eyes and telling her to take a bath. Her older sister Louise seemed to get the nice clothes, attention from the boys and had little time for her younger sister. Her Papa worked fourteen hours a day in the store, and seemed to June a stern taskmaster, to be feared instead of loved.

Her mother was kind and loving who unfortunately suffered from epileptic seizures. Once a month they would find her on the floor, shaking all over or unconscious. She died when June was seven, hitting her head on a coal stove in the kitchen. June cried for a week.

Years later, I came across a small portrait of mom’s mother. A studio picture taken in 1913, she had a beautiful face, her hair done up in a braided top knot held with a pearl comb. The black satin dress looked expensive with pearl buttons and lace inserts.

The picture’s corners were brittled round and spots appeared in the faded background. I secreted the portrait out of the house to the studio where I worked and ordered the most expensive miniature offered. It was to be completely restored and printed on white celluloid. The face and hands would be hand colored with transparent oils and the background and dress painted with tiny brushes by an artist. When it arrived from the artist’s studio, I framed it in a beautiful gold plated lace-edged frame with a domed glass. Though measuring only three and one half inches by four and one half inches, every detail of her features could be seen clearly, even the color of her eyes. She looked just like my mother at that age.

On mom’s birthday, January seventh, I placed the wrapped box on the kitchen table. All through supper, she couldn’t take her eyes off that little box. Her guesses ranged from jewelry to playing cards, never coming close to the truth. Finally, she opened the box and just stared. Her big gray eyes got wet and shiny. A squeaky “Thank you” was all she could manage. No jewelry, no matter how expensive, could mean more to her than her mother’s picture.

I like to talk to strangers.

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