Parenting resources

Last night Tom’s daughter, Sue, came out of her room to see her dad and said, “I got another one of those instant messages. It says, ‘tomorrow you had better not show up at school or else‘.” She has been getting messages like this now for weeks. The result of this is that she no longer likes to turn her computer on.

Sue is now 14 years-old and in the 8th grade. She has been bullied at school for a number of years and they have had a difficult time getting the Principal and teachers to put a stop to it. Sue has two disadvantages that make her a target. First, she has always had a weight problem, not extremely heavy but just a little over weight. Second, her last name is hard to pronounce. This has led to numerous ways to say and spell her name. They have been very creative and cruel. Tom is aware that she needs to lose about 20 pounds but what can he do about his name, change it?

This should come as no surprise to anyone, but as technology changes we all adjust; unfortunately, so do the bullies. Bullying has gone wireless. These are situations our children face that we never did.

How does this happen? The internet, cell phones with text messaging, instant messaging, camera phones and e-mail are the bullies new tools.

This is coming to a school near you if it hasn’t already. The concerns involving cyber-bullying include:

1. Cyberbullying can be much more damaging psychologically and can be much more intense.

2. It creates a barrier between the bully and the victim. This can makeanyone who normally wouldn’t be a bully now becomes a potential bully because there is no face to face contact. Smaller students have found a way to act tough.

3. It is very difficult to catch the bully. When the victim is suspected or caught their defense is that it was someone else impersonating me or someone must of used my password.

4. Camera phones is making cyber-bullying more creative. Taking someone’s picture and then manipulating it. When finished it is posted on a web site or e-mailed out. Imagine getting an e-mail of a nude individual with your face attached to it, and you’re only a teenager.

5. Many think this is a joke and not as serious as bullying face to face.

Parents must be aware

Many kids, including Sue, do not want to report this problem to their parents for fear of how their parents may react. Many believe their parents will take away their cell phone, computer, or internet access. This is an obvious solution to stopping the messages, but it is only a temporary one. Sue feels harassed by the bully and punished by her parents when her equipment is removed. This is a double

punishment for her.

SOLUTIONS are available – ask questions and act as if you‘re unfamiliar with the topic. For example, Have you ever heard of anyone receiving improper messages on their phone? Does anyone at school use their camera phones for taking pictures of others who don’t want their picture taken? Then Sue’s dad should educate her about each situation and how to handle it when and if it arises.

Text Messaging ­ When Sue receives an obscenemessage, threat, or abusive message on her phone teachher to not respond. Your wireless provider should be notifiedto see how they handle this situation.

Chat-rooms and Instant Messaging ­ This is what we needto teach Sue:

1. She should never give out her personal information.

2. She should not share her password.

3. If Sue receives inappropriate messages, have her disconnect or block the sender.

4. She should not respond to inappropriate messages. We do not want a dialogue to begin.

5. She should avoid giving out the name of her school.

6. No child should ever agree to meet anyone from a chat-room. That 17 year-old stud just may be a 53 year -old bald man with a pot belly.

E-Mail ­ Once again, when Sue is sent an inappropriateemail, she should not respond. Go to the source button to find outinformation on tracking where it was sent from. If it was sentfrom someone at school, then print the e-mail to use as proof.Sue’s parents can contact the school or their service provider to seewhat options are available. If there are threats involved, then contacting the police is always an option.

Look into e-mail filters, creating folders for these e-mails, andspam software to block them. Whatever you choose, it willnever be 100% perfect in blocking unwanted e-mails.

Here are some warning signs that Sue’s dad needs to be aware of and Sue needs to inform an adult if she comes across these:

· If anyone insists on having her send her personnel information to the online “buddy.”

· If she is sent messages, pictures, or offered gifts and told not to share these them with anyone.

· If she is requested to send pictures of herself to the e-mailer.

Remember adults do not make friends with children over the internet, then tell the child to keep it quiet without a purpose.

Handling the topic of cyber-bullying with your child before it becomes a problem will make it easier when and if it becomes a problem. Your child needs your guidance and ignoring this issue does not help or support anyone who is a victim of cyber-bullying.

Derek Randel is a parent coach who consults and works with parents in removing the yelling from their home. He has started http://www.stoppingschoolviolence.com a program for parents to help stop bullying. He has authored three books and can be reached at 847-853-4308 or derek@randelconsulting.com

“I wipe my baby’s chin with my college diploma and wonder, ‘How did I ever get here?’”

– Joy Rose from the band “Housewives on Prozac”

I’m sure any mom on the planet can relate to that quote and the sense of exhaustion and bewilderment that it implies. Let’s face it, ladies, after cooking, cleaning, caring, chauffeuring, and “career-ing” we’re pretty frazzled – physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. We dream of lives we don’t believe we will ever be able to live, long to go away on a luxury vacation we will probably never be able to afford, or struggle to just put life on “pause” long enough to refuel before we have to tackle that next mountain of laundry. Unfortunately, those dreams look pretty hopeless, this side of the stack of dirty dishes in the sink.

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling means learning to live our lives in moments and seasons. Living in moments means that we must learn to take small amounts of time each day to refresh our souls, laugh, breathe deeply, express gratitude, and rejoice over our children and husbands – especially on the bad days! We need to look for natural pauses in our days: waiting at a stop light or in a grocery store line; while we wait for the pot to boil; right after the kids go down for their naps – and other little breaks in our day – to take a brief vacation from drudgery. We need to use these moments to stop and look for small, present things to cherish: the golden curls on our toddler’s head; the warm sunshine outside; the sound of children’s laughter; the feel of a baby’s soft skin; the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of quality tea. We need to use little pauses in our day to take baby steps toward our bigger goals like tucking five dollars away for future dreams, skimming great books for deeper inspiration, or glancing at pictures of our ideal life and dreaming a little. We may not be able to get away for a month long vacation, but if we take little five-minute vacations every day, we will find ourselves more relaxed and available for our families. We may not have time or money to become a world class professional pastry chef right now, but we can get a book out of the library on gourmet desserts and throw a surprise together for tonight’s supper. A week on a beach may be an impossible dream, but we can drop the kids off at friend’s house and go sit on a park bench in the sunshine

for an hour.

We need to look for moments, but we must also live in seasons. Living in seasons means we need to remember that what we are experiencing now is not what we will experience forever. When the kids are really young and we’re not getting any sleep, knowing that this is temporary is helpful. We may not have time for anything right now except for survival – but if we’re using our moments to prepare for the next season while we learn to get through this one, things will be different. Seasons enable us to cope with today, but also look to the future. They enable us to see past the spilled supper on the floor ,and the terrible two’s, to a time when things will be calmer. Living in seasons also enables us to take the time we need to create and cherish special moments with our family. Instead of rushing from feeding the baby to cleaning out the basement, or brushing off our child’s request to “come and see!” so that we can get dinner started, we’ll realize that this season is but a brief drop in the bucket of time and that it will soon be over. Dinner and cleaning can usually wait while we connect in a special way with our family members. We need to recognize the season we’re in, and learn to deal with each season in a way that creates a solid foundation for the next one.

So the next time you’re wearily folding laundry, give thanks for the person each item belongs to, say a prayer for them, cherish a special memory you have of them – or plan to create a new one, and remember that “this too, shall pass”.

This is the graceful art of De-frazzling – for mothers.

Darlene Hull,www.mom-defrazzler.com

*******************************************************************

Publishing and Re-Print Guidelines

* The article text, resource box, URLs and copyright information must be left intact and unchanged

* When re-published online, all links must be live hyperlinks.

* These articles may not be distributed in any manner that does not comply with federal communication guidelines.

* These articles must not be password protected or limited to membership or paid-only viewing. These articles must remain free.

*******************************************************************

Darlene Hull is a local, ordinary, imperfect mom who sees her mission as helping moms look after themselves so that they can better look after their families. Darlene is married to Tom and has two children – Simon (12) and Christina (10.5) whom she home schools. You can find out more about her on her website at http://www.mom-defrazzler.com and even download a free “Mom-Defrazzler” while you’re there.

Parenting has always required and exceptionally strong set of skills. Parents generally have been called on to be a leader, manager, facilitator, communicator, and care giver, all without any formal training.

These functions are considered careers in the outside world. As a matter of fact, these careers require advanced levels of education to be performed in the corporate world.

But parents need to quickly learn these skills and adapt to the changes in their children as they grow.

Emerging technologies have only made parenting that much more challenging.

Not only are parents dealing with the growth of their child, but they need to act as a shield and monitor to their children.

This is the only way they will be able to protect their children from the torrent of negativity that exists in the outside world.

With this in mind I launched my site, www.parentingsuccesstips.com, which seeks to provide

guidance to parents who are struggling with raising children in today’s harsh world.

Even the most experienced parents need to be able to implement the latest strategies, ideas, and tips in the parenting field.

When you combine today’s challenges in parenting with the high degree of sophistication of children, it becomes even clearer why parents need to also stay on top of the latest trends in the parenting field.

Parenting, like any job in the outside world, requires a high level of education backed by experience from other successful practitioners.

In other words, parents are each other’s best asset in their quest to raise healthy children.

Donny Lowy, who is the CEO of http://www.closeoutexplosion.com, an online wholesale and closeout business, and http://www.wholesalecloseoutforum.com, an educational resource for the wholesale and closeout business, launched http://www.parentingsuccesstips.com to help parents in today’s turbulent times.

Every children in the world whishes to have toys and every parent trys to give them what they want. So until they grow-up children spend most of their time playing with different toys. If you are careful when you choose toys for your kids you can even consider that you are making an investment. But you have to know if you are making a good investment or not. There are many educative and safe toys. but you can also find many dangerous toys on the market this days. In this article you will find five tips for choosing safe toys for your children. After all every parent is concerned about their children safety.

So you should consider this five thighs when you choose a toy: size, shape, surface, strings and supervision.

Size: you should avoid buying toys with small parts like buttons, wheels, eyes. This small parts can come off and be easily swallowed. So if you have a child under three years you should consider the size of the toys.

Shape: try as much as you can to avoid buying toys with sharp edges and blunt ends. Look for toys with smooth surfaces. You should also avoid plastic, glass or metal toys that can bend and cut. You wouldn’t want your kid to be hurt because of a toy hat you

bought.

Surfaces: another issue that you should consider when you decide to buy a toy is the surface. Usually a toy should have a label from where you can find out if it includes any toxic substances. There are toy that are painted with toxic paint bot that contain toxic liquids that can leak and harm your kid.

Strings: toys made from strings or that contain parts made of strings can also become dangerous. If the child is to young he could get wrapped around wrists or neck in the strings.

Supervision: Last but not least you should provide your child a safe place to play with his toys. And you should monitor him as much as possible so you can be sure that nothing bad can happen.

In conclusion, when a child is playing is almost the same thing like when an adult is working. We all must understand that it’s a very important issue to provide our kids with safe toys. This includes choosing toys that are right for your child’s age. You should also follow exactly the manufacturer’s age recommendations. You mustn’t think that you child is to smart to play with toys for his age. We can never be to careful!

Get your gifts, gadgets & toys at http://www.gadgetsquick.co.uk – The coolest gadget site on the internet!

Moms are so busy with being a mom; they forget to take out time for themselves. Rest and Relaxation are two things for sure a mom needs to make sure they put into their daily schedule. This not only rejuvenates a mom, but also makes for a saner mom.

You know for yourself, if a mom is angry, upset, or tired, then the whole house is all in frenzy. Moms are for the most part in charge of making the house go smooth. We are either changing diapers, cooking meals, helping with homework, or spending mommy and me time with our children.

We are all about everyone else, so we must make sure to be all about us for at least 30 minutes a day.

What techniques can I do to help me give some me time?

1) Go in a quiet room and read a book or magazine.

2) Late evening, take a quiet walk in your subdivision or neighborhood.

3) Relax in your bathtub with bubble bath and

votive candles lit all around the bathtub or Jacuzzi tub.

4) Work on a hobby like sewing or scrap booking.

5) Go shopping for yourself or get a manicure/pedicure.

6) Sit out on your porch swing and just collect your thoughts for the day.

7) Watch a favorite sitcom or movie on TV after the kids go to bed.

Call up a friend and have a nice adult conversation without kids interrupting you.

9) Write in a journal to get thoughts off your mind and clear your head for the next day.

10) Divulge in your favorite food and not feel guilty about it.

These are just some ideas to get you started on making it routine to take out some time for yourself each and everyday. You will realize how less stressful each day is. Also you are doing something for yourself and not for everybody else.

For more ideas and help on being a mom, visit http://www.ilovebeingamom.com today. You will find great articles, tips and more.