Parenting resources

Considering Daycare? Consider the Pros and Cons

admin — Sat, 19 May 2012 18:40:00 +0000

When you’re a parent it’s a difficult decision to know whether to send your child to daycare or not. We have provided many of the pros and cons of sending your child to daycare for your consideration. In our opinion, nothing replaces the day-to-day interaction that you can provide with your child. We also believe that some interaction with other children either through occasional daycare, part-time, or through play-groups and other educational learning programs are invaluable. We also recognize that Mom or Dad also needs to have a break and occasional daycare can provide that for them. What we don’t believe in is a baby or toddler being in someone else’s care for eight hours or more a day everyday! That’s not fair to your child. So with all that in mind, please consider the pros and cons listed below. And may you make the right decision for your children and yourself.

UPSIDE of Daycare:

· Always more than one person available to watch, care for, supervise, and feed your child

· Interaction with other children

· Develop social skills at an early age

· Kid’s days are pretty much scheduled, routine, and consistent

· Daycare centers don’t call in sick

· Kids receive a lot of mental stimulation

· Your house stays neater (although my son can make a mess in minutes)

· The kids enjoy the change of scenery and toys

· Cost is less than for a nanny

· English-as-second-language kids have more exposure to English

DOWNSIDES of Daycare:

· Nighttime baths vs. possibly every other day

· Laying out their clothes

· Packing nutritious lunches vs. fast food snacks

· Morning rush to get out of the house on time

· Allow extra time to make the stop and drop-off

· Your child screaming, “Mommy don’t go!!”

· The guilt and bad feelings because you’re leaving them behind

· Less one-on-one attention from caregivers

· Potential personality conflicts at the center between parents and staff

· Potential personality conflicts between the children

· Ethics taught are the centers or the caregiver

· Values taught are the centers or the caregiver

· Possibly no ethics or values taught at all

· Political influences are those at the center/school

· Less bonding between parent and child

· Child learns early on that you won’t be there for them when they need you

· You don’t get to see and experience all the “firsts” that your child goes through

· You can NEVER recapture those things you miss

· When your child has a boo-boo you’re not there to make it better

· When your child is excited about what she/he has learned, you’re not there at the moment they want to share it with you

· When they’re not feeling well you leave them to someone else to care for them

· When they’re sick no one will baby them like you will

· More exposure to health issues: ringworm, lice, and colds/flues

· You’re not there to kiss away their tears

· You’re not there to waylay their fears

· You’re not there to set their wild ideas back on track

· No opportunity to have a spontaneous day

· No time to do “nothing at all” together

· To experience the joy of holding and watching your child sleep for hours (hopefully)

· You’re not there to teach them to climb a tree

· To explore the bugs and insects

· To plant a seed and watch it grow

· Playing “what do you see in the clouds”

· Less time to go to the beach, woods, hiking, swimming, biking, skating, etc.

· No time to just “play”

· To be your kid’s playmate

· To experience getting to be a kid all over again with your child

· Seeing and experiencing life through the eyes of your child

· No time to make pancakes in the morning

· No time to bake real cookies

· Not there to put a band aid on the invisible oweee

· Not get to see your child’s imagination develop

· Not get to see their personal development as much as you could

· Don’t get to see them beaming with pride at their BIG accomplishments

· Infants and toddlers spending 6-8-10 hours a day away from Mom or Dad

· The cost of daycare is an added expense: financial and emotional

When you work, at the end of your day, you just won’t have the energy, patience or the time to spend with your child in the manner you should or would like to. Your job becomes the first priority

and the child the second. They get what’s left over if there is anything left to get. How do you like it when you are second fiddle to someone you care about and love?

Parents say, “Oh, they don’t mind. He likes the babysitter a lot. He’d rather I went to work.” That may be true, but chances are he’s never experienced having you at home full-time to know what that is like. There can’t be a comparison! Children so love unconditionally, they will put up with even the worst of circumstances and still love their parents. Because children only want to be loved, cared for and valued themselves.

Ask yourself this question: “If you chose to continue working when you have a choice not to, why did you have the children if you didn’t want to raise them yourself? I know some people truly don’t have a choice. But many choose to continue working even though they could make do on one salary or move to an area where they could manage financially. Our society has become so accustomed to having two incomes; we no longer think we have a choice not to work. Imagine this, in one year; if you spent five dollars less per day you will save $1825. That’s one less cup of special coffee per day. If you spend ten dollars less per day, you will save $3650 per year. How much do you spend per day on lunches in your family? A large delivered pizza can easily run close to $20. One fast food meal for a family of four could easily be close to $25 or more. Where could you save money? The question is, are you willing to for the sake of your kids?

Add up all the possible costs of day care and compare to the costs and benefits of working. The most important cost of all to consider is that special time spent with your children. What is the cost to them? In a recent interview of Jane Fonda with 60 Minutes’, Lesley Stahl, Fonda said, “I was not a good mother. And then, you end up paying for it later.”

According to 60 Minutes, Jane created a school program to persuade teenage girls not to get pregnant, and to teach girls who are pregnant how to be better mothers. She created this program because of the mistakes she’s made in her own life, and because of the mistakes her parents made raising her.

“If you don’t have a parent or an adult, a teacher or a mentor … really see you, really love you, ‘Yes, there are things you do I don’t like, but you’re fantastic, you’re good enough. I love you.’ If that never happens to a child, the child assumes it’s her fault and tries to compensate for it,” says Fonda.

Don’t make the mistakes you have experienced or you have seen others experience just because you don’t look far enough ahead. Look at the bigger picture, look ahead ten years or so and imagine what life will be like with your children later on.

I say this, “If you don’t have time for your children when they’re young, they won’t have time for you when you’re old.”

Best known for her expertise in Interpersonal Communications, Eln Albert works with those that want to be at their best when influencing others. Eln is a Professional Speaker and Author.

For more information on how to be the best influencer as a parent or a boss go to http://www.ElnAlbert.com. Check out other articles by Ms. Albert and subscribe to get her free “The Magic of Influence” e-newsletter. In addition, she also offers free teleseminars and free team building exercises.

You have permission to publish these articles electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the signature box is included.

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7 Breastfeeding Myths Dispelled!

admin — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:21:00 +0000

Despite the tons of scientific literature available, these breastfeeding myths are a cause of concern for every nursing mother. Read on to see a few common myths dispelled.

Myth #1

“My breasts will sag if I breast-feed”

Not true! Pregnancy does bring about some changes in the breast (Yes, that one is not a myth). But breastfeeding does not play a big role in determining the future shape of your breasts.

Heredity, your body type and excessive weight gain or loss, have a role to play. In fact, breastfeeding helps the uterus to rapidly revert back to its original size, utilizes body reserves as calories for your baby, acts as a natural contraceptive and is scientifically known to reduce the risk of breast cancer.

Myth #2

“I don’t have enough milk”

Perhaps you spend sleepless nights on this one.

Most women produce enough milk for their babies. During the first few days, you will produce ‘colostrum’ in small quantities, rich in vitamins, proteins and infection fighting agents. Until you start making ‘breast milk’ colostrum fulfills all your baby’s needs. Find out if you are getting enough milk.

If you think your baby is not gaining enough weight it is perhaps because he is poorly latched onto the breast. Get some tips to make breastfeeding a breeze.

Myth #3

“I can’t breastfeed if I have to go back to work”

You can! In fact, breastfeeding gives you that special opportunity for bonding with your baby, when you get back from work. Breast fed babies are known to be healthier than formula fed babies causing their mothers to miss work less often.

Pumping breast milk is another option. Many companies now support nursing breaks and also provide facilities like lactation rooms for mothers

to pump milk in privacy.

Learn more ways to tackle this issue in Breast feeding and Getting back to work.

Myth #4

Modern formula is as good as breast milk.

Nothing can beat the original. Human milk contains live cells, antibodies that avert infections, enzymes, hormones and many other vital ingredients that cannot be cooked up by any formula company.

Unlike formula, breast milk is made especially to suit your baby’s needs any time. It is always fresh and comes safely packaged too.

Myth #5

I should stop breastfeeding if my baby has diarrhea or vomiting

Breastfeeding is the best treatment for any intestinal infection. Usually no other fluids are required for a baby with diarrhea, if he breast feeds adequately. Make sure you know how to tell the difference between various types of infant poop.

Myth #6

A breastfeeding baby needs extra water in hot weather.

Breast milk contains all the water a baby needs, in any weather. Make sure you get enough fluids though. Never allow yourself to get to the point of feeling thirsty. Hydration is crucial to producing sufficient breast milk.

Myth #7

Frequent breastfeeding initiates obesity in children

On the contrary, over enthusiastic formula feeding and early weaning off breast milk are more likely to promote obesity in later life. Breast fed babies learn to regulate their own feeding pattern and consume only what they need.

* About the author *

This article has been provided by ParentingSurvivalGuide.com.

Please visit our web site at http://www.ParentingSurvivalGuide.com to discover more articles.

This article may be freely republished for noncommercial use as long as the article, including the author information and this reprint policy statement, is republished in its entirety, unedited, and with all links working.

25 Things That Matter When Relating To Our Children (Leaving A Legacy Of Love To Those We Love)

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 00:55:00 +0000

In my opinion, these things matter…

1. Enjoying childlike delights before the child no longerdelights in being one.

2. Paying attention long enough to understand — yet caringenough to make a necessary correction once it’s allunderstood.

3. Responding to immaturity in a mature way.

4. Being silly when I can,

5. And fun when it’s not cool to be silly.

6. Making time to listen when it’s their time — not just”my time.”

7. Being big enough to say “I was wrong,”

8. Sensitive enough to ask, “Will you forgive me?”

9. And courageous enough to correct my ways in the process.

10. Teaching by my actions that additional freedom is earnedby being responsible and not an automatic right acquired onthe date of the next birthday.

11. Sharing laughter for no other reason than laughter isbeing shared with me.

12. Complimenting like crazy,

13. Avoiding foolish demands like the plague,

14. And hugging whether they are huggable or not.

15. Remembering that little people are no more — but noless than — just that: little people.

16. Looking in the mirror and realizing “I’m

one of thelittle people who got older.”

17. Making sure that “You’ve done well” doesn’t always carrywith it “But you *should have* done better.”

18. Knowing when to truthfully say “For this I am notresponsible: you are.” (And living with myself once I’vesaid it.)

19. Knowing the importance of releasing without disconnecting,

20. Being a friend while being a parent,

21. Listening to learn instead of waiting to tell,

22. And giving space without giving up.

23. Knowing the immense value of being able to say in theend “I have done all I could reasonably do — and themsome.”

24. Taking time to show up when I can as opposed to wishingI could when showing up is not possible (or even worse: notwanted).

25. Loving with all my heart because in the end it’s worthit all.

____________________________________

© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute

this article. The copyright and this resource box must be

included. http://abeautifulmomentintime.blogspot.com

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time

go here –> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net

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Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 14:38:00 +0000

Here’s the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask “What’s wrong?”. But no answer is spoken, the tears just keep coming out, and the vocal cords just keep on saying “waaaaaaah!”.

You start talking to him in that sweet and soft voice of yours to cajole him to tell you what his problem is. You really want him to calm down now. But when he’s asked questions like “Is something hurting you?” or “Are you hungry?” he doesn’t answer. He just keeps on crying.

Your sweet soft voice keeps on going, hoping to find that magic breakthrough to get him to stop crying. After a while, the frustration builds up within you. You just can’t get through to him. He’s just not saying anything. The smoke starts to build up in your ears. You want to help, but there’s this communication barrier now between you and your boy. So you persist, but still your boy ain’t budging from his bawling.

So now what are you going to do?

What you’re dealing with here is an issue of communication. Communication between people is a very complex process involving language, symbolism, nuances, non-verbal signals and so on. All the more so with young children. Because of their young age and lack of education, development and experience in communicating themselves, they can often have nearly-impossible-to-overcome barriers in trying to express themselves.

You probably wish to have the kind of home environment where:

not only your kids say what they think or feel but also…you can understand them all the time. You need to break down those barriers of communication that keep you from fulfilling your relationships with your kids. You can be a part of their lives in a very healthy and helpful way.

Would you believe that children who are actually good and well-meaning become “bad” children simply because they are frustrated over wanting to express a simple feeling or idea? Imagine this: They want or need something. But they cannot express it because they don’t know how.

So they do what they know. Like doing something around the house that’s not allowed -break a toy, scream, cry, pull their younger sibling’s hair, etc.

Do you (or any other parent) want such a thing in your home? Probably not.

You can find out for yourself that with a few steps, you can go a long way to overcoming some of these communication barriers. Develop routines and habits with your children during those times when all is going well, so that when the crisis does come, you are already prepared for it. It works the same way as preventive medicine. Work with the issue BEFORE it becomes a problem.

On your own you can

try a few of these pointers. Have in your mind the goal that you want to achieve- a freely flowing communication with your children. You and your children should be able to talk to one another in a very calm expressive way using words, sentences, gestures, facial expressions and the like. (Note: This means that yelling and screaming in anger is NOT considered a healthy communication. It will often result in the listener reacting to the outburst in a unhealthy way. This is especially true for when parents yell at their children.)

Take upon yourself to try some of the following exercises, and see what the results are:

1) Show the child that you are ready to listen and pay full attention to what the child is saying. Let the child feel that there is someone who is going to try to listen to them. This will cut down on the degree of frustration for the child.

2) Encourage the child to talk in full sentences if possible. Sometimes children (who can actually talk properly) often just whine, cry, or say one-word expressions, simply because they are accustomed to doing so.

3) Prepare different options for the child to express himself- signs, objects, drawing, etc. You need to be creative here. Sometimes ideas can be expressed in the most unconventional ways- e.g. a child can create a scenario with toy figures.

4) Make sure you are able to repeat to the child what the child said to you. This is a crucial part of the process because for the child this is the guaranteed confirmation that you understood the child’s expression.

Story: Someone hit 6-year-old Sally. Sally comes home crying. Mommy keeps on asking Sally what happened, but for some reason she can’t say it in words. Mommy takes Sally by the hand and brings her over to the art table where there is some paper and some big fat kiddie markers ready for her. Sally sits down and starts drawing in her 5-year-old way the following picture: stick figures of a little girl and a little boy. The boy has his hand on the girl’s face. Mommy sees this and figures that the boy is hitting the girl in the face. She asks Sally if this is so. Sally nods. “AHA!” thinks Mommy. “now I understand…..”

Joseph Browns, a father and creator of the site http://www.home-educational-toys.com wants to share his experiences and expertise in how parents can find valuable opportunities for quality time with children to acquire priceless family memories. A total environment approach is taken, dealing with issues like educational toys, parent-child relationships, environmental + interior design, health, communication skills, and child education. For a picture of myself come see http://www.home-educational-toys.com/about-us.html

What to Do if Your Newborn Has Jaundice?

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 02:58:00 +0000

Don’t panic if your doctor tells you that your newborn baby has jaundice. Jaundice in a newborn baby is a common condition.

Most newborns have normal physiological jaundice and in very rare cases is the jaundice due to serious liver disorders.

Why my baby?

The blood cells in your baby’s body are broken up into a yellow pigment called bilirubin. The level of bilirubin needs to be kept normal by the liver and kidneys by excreting it in the baby’s poop. But the liver of a newborn baby is not very mature. So bilirubin levels rise in the blood causing yellow pigmentation of the skin.

More than 90% of newborn babies are affected by normal physiological jaundice. So relax. This type of jaundice is seen usually on second or third day of the baby’s life and disappears by the 7th or 10th day.

How to tell if your baby has jaundice

Yellow discoloration of the skin and the white of the eye is the key symptom of jaundice. Your baby may also be sleepier than usual. This could be normal physiological jaundice especially when it appears 3-4 days after birth.

Monitor your baby after 1 or 2 days of his birth. You can diagnose jaundice in the newborn baby by doing a very simple test. Press your fingertip against your baby’s forehead or nose tip. If it appears white, you have nothing to worry about. If a yellowish color appears, it is time to call your doctor. A blood test might be needed to confirm that there are no specific causes for the jaundice.

Games Of The Past Meet The Present

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 02:17:00 +0000

Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters’ children for a couple days, when she and her husband traveled to a bed and breakfast for some much need rest and relaxation. They don’t have a chance to get away that often, so I was more than happy to help them out for this little getaway. And, well, I would hope that she would do the same thing for me.

Once I agreed to taking care of her children, reality set in. My sister has six children, and while the youngest wouldn’t be staying with me, all the others would be. Add those five children to my three, you have eight, and add that to my small apartment and you have enough to drive any mom up a wall! How would I keep eight children occupied in my small home, without spending a lot of money?

One of the first activities we played was Twister. Twister was a gift for Christmas, so it was a game the children were still learning. As I watched them play, my I started thinking about the games my siblings and I played as children — those easy games that usually required no extra supplies. There were six of us, and I can remember keeping ourselves occupied with old favorites such as “Mother May I?” and “Old Maid”. After reminiscing, I decided that I would take this opportunity to teach them these favorite games.

I am not sure

who had more fun with it, but I taught them several of the games I played as a young child, and everyone had the greatest time. I taught them “Red Light, Green Light” and “Red Rover”, among others. Even the older children had fun playing “London Bridge” for the sake of the little ones. Want to know the best part? It has been over a week since I taught the kids these games, and on several occasions, I have caught them playing them on their own. Now, what could be better than that?

I encourage you to think back to some of your favorite childhood games. Did you love to play “Simon Says”? When was the last time you built a hopscotch? Do your children even know that there is actually a way to play marbles? Think of your favorites, and start teaching them to your children. Not only do most of these games require very little supplies, if any, but they show your children that there are fun activities that don’t have to be plugged in.

If you need some inspiration, the following websites offer instructions on many popular childhood games:

“Games Kids Play” http://www.gameskidsplay.net/index.html

“Parent Soup: Games” http://www.parentsoup.com/archive/0,9372,263145,00.html

“PBS: Zoom” http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/zoom/games/index.html

About The Author

Brandie is a freelance writing mother of three children. She is also the editor of the Family First Newsletter, the HomeMade Living ezine, and other services for parents. To find out more about Brandie’s creations, visit: http://www.bmvcreations.com

What a Parent Must Do to Stop Online Predators

admin — Sat, 12 May 2012 13:02:00 +0000

Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school, at their friends’ homes and in public places such as libraries and even from cell phones and video game consoles. Internet is everywhere, that is why kids and teenagers (and their parents, too) should be well aware of its dangers to avoid them.

Here are some figures from the telephone survey made by the Pew Internet and American Life Project:

65% of all parents and 64% of all teens say that teens do things online that they wouldn’t want their parents to know about.

These “things” usually means visiting sites parents find “questionable” or “inappropriate”, for example, so-called adult content. And, of course, chatting online with strangers.

What kids say in chat rooms, whom they communicate with and what they post on web logs and other public Internet places can get them into much more serious trouble than just viewing porn.

81% of parents of online teens say that teens aren’t careful enough when giving out information about themselves online and 79% of online teens agree with this.

Sometimes, teenager post online their first and last names, postal addresses, phone numbers, pictures and give lots of personal information about themselves. It enables a predator easily identify and find this teen.

Unfortunately, sex predators teem in cyberspace. Sometimes they immediately start sexually explicit conversations with children. If a kid or a teen is forewarned and taught to end such a conversation immediately, he or she is relatively safe, except for moral damage from such a talk.

But there are others. They gradually allure their future victims by attention, affection, kindness, and even gifts. These individuals usually devote much time, money, and energy to this process. They listen to children and pretend to empathize with their problems. They are aware of the latest music, hobbies, and interests of children. Some time later this person may succeed in arranging a face-to-face meeting with the kid — you can guess what for.

Such crimes are on the rise, so there are now even special units where law enforcement officers pose as children in chat rooms to lure predators into a trap.

The problem is so serious that Federal Bureau of Investigation had to launch Crimes Against Children (CAC) Program in 1997; and,unfortunately, the officers from Crime Against Children Unit (CACU)have plenty of work. So every parent should read and memorize tips from “A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety”

There are very simple rules any teen should learn by heart. Remind your children again and again: “don’t believe everything you are told on-line; never reveal your name, age, birthday, graduation year, nickname or any other personal information while chatting; don’t agree

to meet face-to-face anybody you chatted online with.”

Parents ought to talk to their children about online dangers. Moms and Dads must encourage their sons and daughters tell them about their online acquaintances, without fear of being scolded of punished.

But should all parents use monitoring software? It’s a difficult question. Software for parental control is a useful tool, only if applied right.

My opinion is that monitoring software is “strong medicine”. Like any medicine, it has its own side effects that can be worse than the disease. Any medicine, if overused, can do harm. Computer monitoring is the last resort, when all the other means are exhausted. Don’t do it just because you think you should.

Using monitoring software will be appropriate if you feel you are losing control of the situation, or have lost it already.

For example, your teenage son or daughter seems to be completely withdrawn from family. You don’t know his/her friends well enough–maybe you even haven’t seen them and doubt whether they exist at all. You have no idea whom he/she is chatting with. Your teenager receives phone calls from people you don’t know or is making long-distance calls to numbers you don’t recognize. Your son or daughter gets letters, gifts or packages from people you haven’t heard about.

Every day he/she spends hours on the computer, especially at night. When you enter the room he/she changes the screen. Maybe you found pornography on your child’s computer. If your child uses an online account that belongs to someone else, you also should be alarmed.

Don’t keep the computer in your child’s bedroom. In fact, nearly three-quarters of home computers are located in a place like living room., according to the survey. A wise thing to do. If your child uses the Internet in a living room, it is easier to watch what he or she is doing online.

And, of course, there is a great variety of monitoring software products. Their purposes may vary from simply recording the time the computer is on/off to logging every keystroke your kid makes. Use one of them if you are sure it is absolutely necessary. But remember that your kid might be more technically savvy than you. Lots of them can erase their traces.

At any case, you must let your growing son or daughter know that you do care for his or her safety — both offline and online.

Alexandra Gamanenko currently works at Raytown Corporation, LLC — an independent monitoring and anti-monitoring software developing company. It provides various solutions for information security, including efficient software for parental control.

Learn more — visit the company’s websitehttp://www.softsecurity.com

Families That Hit Pine Cones Together Stay Together

admin — Sat, 12 May 2012 09:11:00 +0000

It is said that families that pray together stay together. I think it’s almost equally true that families that play together stay together. If play time is the glue of family life, our family is a sticky crew!

One scorching August day we were trying to escape the heat by retreating to a summer cabin rental at Diamond Lake, high in the Cascade Mountains of Oregon. Our little league star, Garin, suggested that we play baseball.

“But we don’t have a ball up here,” I objected.

“We don’t need a ball. We can use pine cones,” answered Garin.

“Where would we play? There’s no clearing big enough,” I countered.

“We can play in the driveway if you move the car.” Garin always was a problem solver.

“Alright,” I groaned. “Come on. Everybody out to the driveway.” I pouted while moving the car. I always was a bad loser.

The driveway to our cabin, you understand, was not the nicely paved driveway you find in subdivisions. Instead, it was more like a wild bear trail, weaving its way between 200-foot pines and spruce and white fur, bordered on the west by Diamond Lake and on the right by the country road. I had visions of the Cincinnati Reds playing the World Series on a motorcycle track. “The boat trailer will be first base,” declared Garin with the authority that only comes with entrepreneurs. “The back of the car will be second, and the outhouse will be third. Let’s use this squirrel hole for home plate. ”

So we did.

Mom said to start the game without her. She would be there in a minute. Garin was first up, naturally. He tripled off the Blue Spruce. Conveniently at third, used the opportunity to hurry Mom out of the game by pounding the rhythm of “Joshua Fit The Battle of Jericho” on the

outhouse wall.

Mom made her appearance just as Garth lined a foul ball into the right field forest. Kendy claimed she retrieved the ball, but the rest of us had our doubts, as the new ball seemed larger and was certainly stickier than the old ball.

“Yuk” exclaimed the pitcher, Kurt. “This ball has pitch all over it.’

Since I was doubling as catcher and umpire, I examined the ball and decided that the new ball was definitely in order. I threw out the old ball, threw in the new, and play resumed. Things went nicely for 3 or 4 innings Kurt hit the ball over the cabin and into the lake; the squirrel stuck his head up once but quickly re-submerged when he saw Garth about to slide into home plate; and a passing doe watched the game briefly from the left field stands, but apparently got bored with our game and moved on to more exciting adventures.

After the game we totaled the score, which was kept engraved in the red dirt behind home plate. Kids 76; Mom and Dad 37. Garth complained because he wanted to go swimming.

Bev and I, decisively defeated, headed for the cabin to drown our sorrows in a tall ice tea while the kids scrambled to get their swimming suits, inner tubes, frog feet, and snorkels.

While the victors celebrated loudly in the lake, the losers retreated to the shade of a massive fir tree by the shore where they licked their wounds and re-grouped for the next encounter.

Duane Shinn is the father of four now-grown kids, and is also the author of the popular free 101-week e-mail newsletter titled “Amazing Secrets Of Exciting Piano Chords & Sizzling Chord Progressions” with over 56,500 current subscribers. Those interested may obtain a free subscription by going to http://www.playpiano.com/

My Teenaged Parents

admin — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:11:00 +0000

Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled. But, as the single parent of teenagers, I stunk! Faced with the reality of children who could (and did) do whatever they really, really wanted to do, I was often baffled.

Functioning as the caregiver of two adult parents, I again find myself baffled. But I am sure of one thing — It’s no wonder many caregivers die before the elders they care for! They simply wear out!

Consider this recent exchange:

ME: “How is that new medication working?”

PARENT: “It doesn’t work. I still feel sick.”

ME: “OK, call the doctor and tell him.”

PARENT: “I can’t. He doesn’t answer calls on the weekend.”

ME: “Well, someone does.”

PARENT: “No, they just tell me to go to the emergency room.”

ME: “OK, call the doctor’s office on Monday.”

PARENT: “Well, he doesn’t have anything better to offer.”

ME: “How do you know?”

PARENT: “He never does.”

ME: “Well, call anyway, OK?”

PARENT: “He doesn’t pay any attention to me.”

ME: “He can’t help if he doesn’t know you’re still sick. So, call, OK?”

PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible.

ME on MONDAY: “Did you call the doctor?”

PARENT: “No, I’m feeling better today.”

ME: “Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?”

PARENT: “No, I’m not a child. And I don’t want you treating me like one!”

I’ve run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It’s enough to drive you to drink – or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents – and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be.

Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over.

I’m not

about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits:

Come over. Don’t send flowers. They’re just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great.

Stay and serve it. Even greater!

Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to.

Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while.

Start a “Caregiver’s Day Out” at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break – just a few hours would be wonderful.

Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you’re retired, consider becoming one yourself.

Lobby your Representatives and Senators for more funding for Adult Day Care Centers. The nearest one to me is 45 miles away and does not provide transportation.

Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants!

About The Author

Phyllis Staff, Ph.D. – Phyllis Staff is an experimental psychologist and the CEO of The Best Is Yet.Net, an internet company that helps seniors and caregivers find trustworthy residential care. She is the author of How to Find Great Senior Housing: A Roadmap for Elders and Those Who Love Them. She is also the daughter of a victim of Alzheimer’s disease. Visit the author’s web site at http://www.thebestisyet.net

pando19@yahoo.com

Teenagers and What Parents Should Do About Them

admin — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:08:00 +0000

Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin’ and parents need to know what to do.

Wow… What Happened?

That’s what most parents find themselves asking about the time their kids hit twelve or thirteen. But the changes really start unfolding between nine to eleven years old.

Your sweet little babies who’s whole world has revolved around you start revolving around everything but you. This can be really hard on the old ego, but it requires a steady hand, and an even temper. While your kids may not agree, they need you now more then ever.

This is a time when they start to explore new worlds, take steps of independence, and try to spread their wings and see what it is like to “Fly Alone”. Scary stuff for a kid, a lot more scary for the parent.

The best thing you can do as a parent is stay involved in their daily lives. Spend time together. Listen to what they are trying to tell you. Don’t be too judgmental. And help provide the tools that will still educate them, and steer them in the direction you want them to go.

Most kids who get into trouble admit two primary things: Their parents don’t care about them (you have to stay involved for them to believe you care), and they are bored (they don’t have anything challenging their minds, or stimulating their creative energy).

Most kids this age actually love to build things, or create projects. They love to see the results of something that they did. They love to pursue talents they feel they have, and we should as parents encourage this, even if they give it up in a few months, this is how they experiment and “Find Themselves”.

They like sports, computers, hobbies, music, building stuff, and scientific discoveries. There is really an endless world of “Educational Toys” for kids this age, it really is too bad that so many kids are left to MTV and evil computer games that waste away their ability to think.

Recent studies have shown that kids left to play computer games more than 30 minutes at a time, and more than once a day actually change the chemistry of their brain

and lose some of their ability to think creatively. They become to some extent Zombies.

As parents, we have a responsibility to make sure our children aren’t playing computer games, watching movies, and listening to music that is demonically inspired. There is a “Culture of Death” that invades the lives of our children today, and you can prove it to yourself by walking down any computer game isle and looking at the game covers and titles. Or tune in any music video channel. It is all Death or Sex. I often think that if we were to transplant someone from one hundred years ago into our popular culture and sit them in front of most of the movies we consider entertainment, they would likely have to be put in a straightjacket and hospitalized for mental trauma. If we abandon our kids to such filth, how can we be surprised when they walk into school and shoot down their classmates and teachers? How can we be shocked when they get pregnant, have abortions, and lose their innocence?

That is why we started our website, educational-toys-4u.com, to try and provide healthy alternatives, and to give you as parents a little encouragement to keep up the battle for your children’s future. Don’t just turn them over to the popular culture, they deserve much better, and they will thank you for your standing in the gap for them for the rest of their lives.

Just think… someday there will be grandchildren sitting on your knee, and thinking that you are the greatest thing since peanut butter.

Ain’t life Grand?

Tom Cooper

Tom & Shelley Cooper are the founders of http://educational-toys-4u.com offering healthy alternatives for the educational toys your children need to learn and grow.

Tom is the administrator of a large humanitarian aid project and Shelley left a successful career as a financial analyst to work in education. With a 12 year old son and a 9 year old daughter, they are keenly interested in the educational process and welfare of their children, and children everywhere.

How we train our children today will determine their futures tomorrow.

Visit now and subscribe to our Smart Play Newsletter: http://educational-toys-4u.com